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[extent]

user name: nick
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100% correct cw all the way through

[chrisisofaith]

good then let people help, the whole 'i dug this hole, i'll get myself out' thing really doesn't work

also good cause he's cute

oh. no. pass. third option was barely an option anyway
we can keep talking abusive dickbags

[extent]

i dont know, it was working fine before everyone found out

what was the third one that makes talking about this shit somehow a better option?

[chrisisofaith]

no it wasn't you basically drank a river of booze with me while you were trying to fix it

it's more love stuff and it feels kinda dumb and silly after everything else we already talked about

[extent]

i'm an alcoholic man that doesnt mean anything

no lets talk about love i dont want to talk about this any more

[chrisisofaith]

do you spray the bullshit on like a cologne or is it natural?

it's unrequited or not possible love but in the 'why am i surprised and thinking about this i'm a bad boyfriend anyway so i should be relieved' kind of way so

still no

[extent]

oh it comes very naturally

im pretty sure we have established by now that i'm very good at not telling people shit so like
who're you in love with tell me

[chrisisofaith]

give me at least one if not two good reasons to tell you nicky

[extent]

because i just told you a whole bunch of shit
because i'm better at keeping secrets than like anyone
because if you tell me something i'll tell you something
bc i want to know

theres 4

[chrisisofaith]

i'll accept at least two of those
and i've been drinking this thing so slow hold on i need to finish it

[..]

we'll start with unrequited and also annoying that's easier. do you know jacob frye?

[extent]

wait you're drinking why am i not drinking

no i dont, are you in unrequited love w him or is he in love w u?

[chrisisofaith]

i don't know do you want to be drinking? get a drink

me with him. i know he cares about me and i know he's willing and ready to bend over for me whenever and he knows shit about me that only like five people here do. but i definitely got hit with a truth bird and told him i loved him.
he was also hit with a truth bird and didn't say anything except how i shouldn't
all this, by the way, after i purposefully stopped trying to feel anything about him cause he
what's the word
hold on
ghosted me for a long while. then turned up for sex like it was nothing
so it's annoying

[extent]

i didnt know this was a drinking conversation i thought it was a sit and self-flagellate conversation

he ghosted you?
chris

[chrisisofaith]

why can't it be both

what?
he apologized while under truth whatever too

[extent]

maybe. hang on im gonna get high

did he apologize for ghosting u or for hitting u back up again like it was nothing
did he explain why he needed a truth drug to manifest that apology
if people are showing you who they are u should probably believe them

[chrisisofaith]

whatever makes you happy
he did both and said he wasn't good with keeping up with people even when he cares for them, that he loses track of people
i believe completely that he cares enough to look at me like he loves me even while he'll never say or feel it and probably be the cause of a few more bottles in my life.

look i told you it was stupid and annoying

[extent]

it is stupid and annoying
all love kind of is tho

is it worth it? if you really think he'll never love you back?

[chrisisofaith]

fuck is that true
what he knows about me feels worth trying for him

would you?

[extent]

i dont know
i'm more used to being the person doing the ghosting

does it hurt, being with him?

1/2

[chrisisofaith]

yes

2/2

[chrisisofaith]

he's so aggressively full of the life he wants to live and the person he is he jumps and then checks to see how bad the falls going to be he's a fucking moron

but he looks at me like i matter, like i'm the only person in the room and i know that's not true, i know he's in love with someone else whole-heartedly, but i'm an idiot so here we are having this conversation

[extent]

you cant get that from someone who loves you back?

[chrisisofaith]

maybe. sure, if that person existed
i'm not actually with anyone nick, not like that. plenty i fool around with or play with, but not more.

[extent]

is that how you want it?

[chrisisofaith]

no

there's someone else, but the other person i love does love me back but can't be with me cause he has a jealous boyfriend

which is stupid to be upset about cause i can give him whatever i'd give him anyway without the title so no harm.

i just have shit luck and bad taste in men

[extent]

thats not stupid to be upset about
like titles are just titles sure but theres no point pretending like words dont mean anything

both of these situations suck, and it's not fair. you deserve more, its not stupid to be upset about it