[ it's one hell of a view up here, made all the more pleasant for having his arms looped loose around chris too, for those kisses pressed onto his face. it's a little easier to let his problems feel smaller out here, not quite so overwhelming. just a little bit manageable.
it's better than nick's been doing in weeks, he'll gladly take it. ]
You got us up here, I can get us home. Stay a while, enjoy the view. [ it's not a grin this time, it's a softer little smile on his face as he tilts it up once more. ] Kiss me again.
[He smiles in a way that's absolutely meant to be making fun of himself. They'd talked about a lot and then gone flying...and now he was contemplating the slightly uneven stone here and if he had the energy left for what he was considering.]
I've got you and the ocean to look at, there's plenty of view to enjoy.
[But he does as asked and leans in to kiss Nick again. Something with a little more pressure, a little longer, if still gentle.
[He doesn't look as he waves a hand over the stonetop they stood on, a five foot bowl-shape carving itself into the surface beside them.]
[ it's a fancy bit of magic, albeit one nick only catches the end of, wrapped as he is in the promised kiss. the sort of thing that makes this all feel just a little bit lighter, like they whisked themselves away just for the hell of it, and not because nick is fraying at every threadbare seam holding him together. ]
Well, an offer like that, how can I say no?
[ nick reaches up, sweeps away a few loose strands of hair out of chris' face. tucks them away, then plants his hands on his chest to encourage him back into the scooped out hollow made just for them, so that he can settle comfortably into his lap right after. ]
[Chris goes easily, settling into the scoop and making a softer pad of his legs for Nick to settle in.
It’s an easy thing to wrap his arms around him from there and give a brief kiss to Nick’s hair.
This was better. The change in position offsets the slight fidget in his hands and gives his fingers something to mess with as they find corners of Nick’s clothing to fiddle with or an arm to pet absently.]
I miss the ocean. I mean there’s this, but I miss knowing there’s life of all kinds, knowing there’s sails to see on the horizon and the sounds of the docks coming to life each morning. I guess I miss my ocean.
[It’s a silly little topic, but it’s a shift of focus, an attempt to let Nick breathe without feeling like Chris was aiming to pick at any edges.]
[ the observation isn't a new one, to nick or to anyone that pays attention to these things, but it's not something he voices very often. it's a thought kept to quiet nights alone, lying out in the yard with a joint and staring up at an unfamiliar set of stars above him. nick doesn't talk about home very often.
but chris misses the ocean, so he can miss the sky. he settles a hand loose on Chris' thigh next to him, leans into his chest and rests his head on his shoulder, eyes closing for a moment, relaxing -- really relaxing, finally. ]
We're not supposed to be here. It doesn't...ever feel right.
[He looks up at the stars at that, eyes trailing over unfamiliar arrangements. hey were unfamiliar to him, but he'd assumed that was him not coming from Earth. He hadn't realized other people saw something unfamiliar as well.
He brushes his chin by Nick's head, his lips barely grazing by his temple as he looks back down and out into the black sea.]
No, we're not. There's plenty wrong here: the way death works, our place in this, the fact some powers are fine and some are limited. It all feels wrong.
[He sighs softly, the melancholy brushing his words even as he tries to shift the tone.]
Caleb's got this notion of making a life here that's better than the one left behind and I'm all for it, if you can, but I think it'll always be hard...if only cause those little things that ought be right aren't and you'll always notice.
[Nevermind the big things like controlling assholes and an uncaring populace and drugs in the water every other month.]
The people here are better. The only ones in my world worth anything are practically all here now, too.
[ and the people here are worse too, because nick's had his run ins with shitty assholes before, but never the kind of toxic manipulation that someone like william is capable of. but there's no optimism to be found in thinking about william, so he doesn't say it. he's plenty sad enough on its own, without helping it along.
instead nick lifts a hand, reaches to drop chris' hand on top of it, palm against the back of his hand. there's no real purpose to it, except that he can twist their hands together through the breeze idly. ]
Most days I think it's worth it, you know. The trade off. Like--the city is fucked, but look at the people I have. I didn't have this back home. I haven't even...thought about love since I was like fifteen years old.
[Chris smiles a bit, watching Nick play with their hands in the air.]
Yeah...yeah, I get that. I certainly have people and relations I'd never have at home.
[And that was what Caleb had said as well: that the trade of who he had outweighed who he missed.]
I suppose...if I at least had my twin, I might be a little closer to feeling that too.
[Because, as much as he misses the rest of his group, as much as he misses his boys, they'd have each other and be alright. Rhyt would have them too, but Chris knew he was a little more lost without her.]
But...even if there's never a way to get home, if we end up stuck here forever, it's something I think I can live with when I've got silly things to sit in my lap and play like our hands are birds.
It's a little easier when you have people that'll whisk you off to a cliff and carve you out a seat just cause you're having a bad day.
[ if he's smiling, it's smothered in the way he guides chris' hand back over to him, pressing a kiss onto his knuckles, and another couple just for good measure. ]
I don't know what I'd do if any of my family showed up. They probably wouldn't be that surprised, all the messes I've got myself into.
[There's a small flutter in him, a little thing for those sweet kisses, but more the thought he might have actually helped.]
You think? [His own certainly wouldn't be surprised. Maybe. Of course, sometimes he thinks they see him as having himself way more together than he does, but he's no mind reader.]
[ nick doesn't talk about home, is the thing. some people have even noticed, the way he'll scatter a few details at most before sliding out of the conversation. he doesn't always do it on purpose--it started off as self-preservation, at some point it became habit.
he doesn't remember the last time he said their names, and that used to feel like a kindness, but these days he's not so sure. ]
I have...seven siblings. Three sisters, four brothers. Our parents, they're like--old money, old witch blood. Thomas, the oldest, he's got to be almost thirty now. I think he's living in England still, teaching. Nicolette, she was next, she just moved back to town. Working at my old school, contracting. God, she was so mad when she got back into town.
[He nearly scoffs at that remark -too many seemed a silly thing to declare- but then he continues and Chris maybe understands a little better. Seven is a lot. He's put into mind of Amnos and his three soon-to-be-five kids. Would any of them look at their family and feel that way? Probably.
He feels like he should be more surprised at the old money comment than he is, but he just reaches the hand not held sweetly captive to sweep up and back through Nick's hair by his ear.]
Oh, you're witchy nobility. Explains a lot. Tell me, what mess did your sister walk into to have her mad so soon?
[ it's a funny story now, honestly. it's been long enough, and frankly, his problems these days are a little bigger than family politics. nick's head tips into the gentle touch, he smiles just a little. that's not for the story, though, that's all chris. ]
Sleeping with a married man. One of her coworkers, my old teacher. I didn't know she was coming to work for the school when I did it. Apparently it's hot goss, I guess. Our parents are in a like, 'family is good' stage so they actually invited me to dinner, she basically told me not to show up.
[ he shrugs a little. it's not his finest moment, one of his more shameful ones really, but on the sliding scale of terrible choices made by nick, it's easier to forgive himself for the affair these days. if nothing else, this city has done wonders for putting nick's problems from home into perspective. ]
I don't really...talk to a lot of my family, I guess. Nia and Matty, they're the babies, that's it really. Nia just went to arts college with the regular humans, but she's nearby. Matty's graduating high school this year. They're both much nicer than me, that's probably why they still like me.
[Chris knows he's making a face, but it's easy to bury it in Nick's hair.]
Well...I can see how that'd make things a bit awkward, but he's as much to blame for any slips if his spouse would have a fit over it.
[Chris was...a very firmly poly person and, until Kallian came back into the picture, he'd accepted he'd likely only be with Ra'ah through their time together since the rogue was much more monogamous. That was a conversation they'd had though, if Chris had messed up and slept with someone behind Ra'ah's back, that'd be Chris fault.
As far as he was concerned, Nick's 'misstep' was minor compared to this man.
He shrugs.]
Besides, seems little to your sister's business unless she also plans on sleeping with someone she's working with. But you hardly seem like the 'mean one' or even bad one, Nicky. Messy, I'll grant you, but not bad.
It's a reputation thing. She's mad, because people whispering about what I'm doing will probably lead to them whispering about her, now that she's back in town.
[ granted their problems run deeper than nick's ill-advised affair, but the complicated intricacies of nick's family problems could keep them here all night probably. well into the next day, if he wanted to be thorough.
he doesn't want to be thorough. he wants to paint a nice picture of people that all love each other, but it wouldn't be very true at all. ]
You only know me here. Back home I'm just...lazy. I dropped out of school at like, fifteen, and right after my parents put me up in an apartment in town so that I'd be like, out of everyone's way. I don't do anything, I just get high and sell weed and hang out with Oli.
[He'd vaguely wondered once or twice, what nobility looked like in the time and worlds Nate and Nick and Caleb came from. He was aware Nate's family history was complicated and Caleb's and now Nick's. Maybe that was just the universal trade-off for money and power: bullshit never-ending.
There's a bit of that he's still thinking over, but he starts with the part that stands out most to him:]
And you think they'd be disappointed in the you here? Cause what you just described doesn't sound like what you've made of yourself now. Nothing's stopping you from being lazy here too.
We're not, like, the kind of big deal that comes with titles. O'Broin's are more like, a medium deal.
[ it's a funny notion, the idea of nick as a prince or a lord, and a decent reminder that it could have been worse. he can't imagine how much pressure would have come with a position like that, but he probably wouldn't have slid out of the family radar quite so easily.
he shifts a little, twists in chris' lap to look at him instead of the ocean. despite the less than cheerful topic, he's still smiling. his family might be complicated, but this...this is nice. even talking about them. nick is surprised to find it doesn't grate on him as much as he'd have expected. ]
Oh, they'd find something. It's basically expected of me. [ it's not the sort of thing that bothers him too much anymore though, when nick shrugs it's genuine. ] Tell me about your twin?
[Nick turns about a bit and Chris meets him with a small kiss to the corner of his mouth.]
Maybe they would...but I bet they'd miss how sweet and loving you are. Foolish, maybe, and certainly...[how did he say this nicely?] out there...but still plenty clever and plenty good.
[He gives another kiss, this time to Nick's temple.
Then pulls a hand back to make a motion, a purple light forming in his hand to form the face of a girl, hair darker in the purple light and tied back in a ponytail, but a bright smile like sunshine as she looks over her shoulder at them.]
My twin's name is Rhyt. She's older by five minutes and would tell you such. She's stupid as a stone, but such a way with people as to light up a life by looking at it. [Even with his more 'harsh' assessment, his voice is suffused in adoration and longing.]
She's a rogue and an assassin, but she doesn't take life cruelly, only as necessary and if she can talk her way out of a problem, she'll try that before pain any day. 'Niceness before knives.'
[ nick's always at least a little impressed by visual magic because his is so rarely, but this one is all the more captivating for the sentiment. nick's head tips, his cheek resting light against chris', and he lifts a hand until his finger grazes the edge of where the girl's shoulder might sit. ]
She smiles like you do.
[ it's a particular kind of painful, missing people in this city. when being with someone means abandoning everything here and returning home, or having them trapped here with you, where every option feels--equally bad. nick is well-versed in missing his family at this point, he's been doing it since he was a teenager, but some days feel a little harder than others.
right now, nick thinks he wouldn't mind some stern disapproval. ]
Are you guys close? How does she feel about all your...lord king shit?
[That hits him a little more sharply than he expects and the laugh he gives is breathy and light, almost like a sigh.
Once, he'd been starkly aware of just how similar they looked. To the point of resentment, not at Rhyt (never at Rhyt) but at his own soft jawline and shorter stature and very slight curves that gave away what binding and clothing tried to hide. Then there'd been blessed magic and a wish and he'd gotten all the looks he'd wanted: the height, the facial hair, the sharpening of his jaw and slightly broader shoulders...and he looked a little less like his twin.
It stung to have something sharp in a change that should have been sweet, not that he'd ever breathed so much as a word of that to anyone. Nick saying that, that he still looked like her in a noticeable way, was more a relief than he could have guessed.
His eyes sting but he blinks it away.]
We're very close. We got separated when we were four and didn't come back together until twenty-two, but we wrote as we could and we spend as much time together as we can most days now. She's technically Lady Sonom, but she'll be taking up spywork and assassin's trade as my left hand, so, whatever she feels on it, she thinks she'll be there for me and that's all I could ask.
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[ it's one hell of a view up here, made all the more pleasant for having his arms looped loose around chris too, for those kisses pressed onto his face. it's a little easier to let his problems feel smaller out here, not quite so overwhelming. just a little bit manageable.
it's better than nick's been doing in weeks, he'll gladly take it. ]
You got us up here, I can get us home. Stay a while, enjoy the view. [ it's not a grin this time, it's a softer little smile on his face as he tilts it up once more. ] Kiss me again.
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Yeah...absolutely...remembered that.
[He smiles in a way that's absolutely meant to be making fun of himself. They'd talked about a lot and then gone flying...and now he was contemplating the slightly uneven stone here and if he had the energy left for what he was considering.]
I've got you and the ocean to look at, there's plenty of view to enjoy.
[But he does as asked and leans in to kiss Nick again. Something with a little more pressure, a little longer, if still gentle.
[He doesn't look as he waves a hand over the stonetop they stood on, a five foot bowl-shape carving itself into the surface beside them.]
Sit with me in my lap, then?
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Well, an offer like that, how can I say no?
[ nick reaches up, sweeps away a few loose strands of hair out of chris' face. tucks them away, then plants his hands on his chest to encourage him back into the scooped out hollow made just for them, so that he can settle comfortably into his lap right after. ]
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It’s an easy thing to wrap his arms around him from there and give a brief kiss to Nick’s hair.
This was better. The change in position offsets the slight fidget in his hands and gives his fingers something to mess with as they find corners of Nick’s clothing to fiddle with or an arm to pet absently.]
I miss the ocean. I mean there’s this, but I miss knowing there’s life of all kinds, knowing there’s sails to see on the horizon and the sounds of the docks coming to life each morning. I guess I miss my ocean.
[It’s a silly little topic, but it’s a shift of focus, an attempt to let Nick breathe without feeling like Chris was aiming to pick at any edges.]
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[ the observation isn't a new one, to nick or to anyone that pays attention to these things, but it's not something he voices very often. it's a thought kept to quiet nights alone, lying out in the yard with a joint and staring up at an unfamiliar set of stars above him. nick doesn't talk about home very often.
but chris misses the ocean, so he can miss the sky. he settles a hand loose on Chris' thigh next to him, leans into his chest and rests his head on his shoulder, eyes closing for a moment, relaxing -- really relaxing, finally. ]
We're not supposed to be here. It doesn't...ever feel right.
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He brushes his chin by Nick's head, his lips barely grazing by his temple as he looks back down and out into the black sea.]
No, we're not. There's plenty wrong here: the way death works, our place in this, the fact some powers are fine and some are limited. It all feels wrong.
[He sighs softly, the melancholy brushing his words even as he tries to shift the tone.]
Caleb's got this notion of making a life here that's better than the one left behind and I'm all for it, if you can, but I think it'll always be hard...if only cause those little things that ought be right aren't and you'll always notice.
[Nevermind the big things like controlling assholes and an uncaring populace and drugs in the water every other month.]
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[ and the people here are worse too, because nick's had his run ins with shitty assholes before, but never the kind of toxic manipulation that someone like william is capable of. but there's no optimism to be found in thinking about william, so he doesn't say it. he's plenty sad enough on its own, without helping it along.
instead nick lifts a hand, reaches to drop chris' hand on top of it, palm against the back of his hand. there's no real purpose to it, except that he can twist their hands together through the breeze idly. ]
Most days I think it's worth it, you know. The trade off. Like--the city is fucked, but look at the people I have. I didn't have this back home. I haven't even...thought about love since I was like fifteen years old.
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Yeah...yeah, I get that. I certainly have people and relations I'd never have at home.
[And that was what Caleb had said as well: that the trade of who he had outweighed who he missed.]
I suppose...if I at least had my twin, I might be a little closer to feeling that too.
[Because, as much as he misses the rest of his group, as much as he misses his boys, they'd have each other and be alright. Rhyt would have them too, but Chris knew he was a little more lost without her.]
But...even if there's never a way to get home, if we end up stuck here forever, it's something I think I can live with when I've got silly things to sit in my lap and play like our hands are birds.
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[ if he's smiling, it's smothered in the way he guides chris' hand back over to him, pressing a kiss onto his knuckles, and another couple just for good measure. ]
I don't know what I'd do if any of my family showed up. They probably wouldn't be that surprised, all the messes I've got myself into.
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[There's a small flutter in him, a little thing for those sweet kisses, but more the thought he might have actually helped.]
You think? [His own certainly wouldn't be surprised. Maybe. Of course, sometimes he thinks they see him as having himself way more together than he does, but he's no mind reader.]
Tell me about them? Who's in your family?
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[ nick doesn't talk about home, is the thing. some people have even noticed, the way he'll scatter a few details at most before sliding out of the conversation. he doesn't always do it on purpose--it started off as self-preservation, at some point it became habit.
he doesn't remember the last time he said their names, and that used to feel like a kindness, but these days he's not so sure. ]
I have...seven siblings. Three sisters, four brothers. Our parents, they're like--old money, old witch blood. Thomas, the oldest, he's got to be almost thirty now. I think he's living in England still, teaching. Nicolette, she was next, she just moved back to town. Working at my old school, contracting. God, she was so mad when she got back into town.
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He feels like he should be more surprised at the old money comment than he is, but he just reaches the hand not held sweetly captive to sweep up and back through Nick's hair by his ear.]
Oh, you're witchy nobility. Explains a lot. Tell me, what mess did your sister walk into to have her mad so soon?
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[ it's a funny story now, honestly. it's been long enough, and frankly, his problems these days are a little bigger than family politics. nick's head tips into the gentle touch, he smiles just a little. that's not for the story, though, that's all chris. ]
Sleeping with a married man. One of her coworkers, my old teacher. I didn't know she was coming to work for the school when I did it. Apparently it's hot goss, I guess. Our parents are in a like, 'family is good' stage so they actually invited me to dinner, she basically told me not to show up.
[ he shrugs a little. it's not his finest moment, one of his more shameful ones really, but on the sliding scale of terrible choices made by nick, it's easier to forgive himself for the affair these days. if nothing else, this city has done wonders for putting nick's problems from home into perspective. ]
I don't really...talk to a lot of my family, I guess. Nia and Matty, they're the babies, that's it really. Nia just went to arts college with the regular humans, but she's nearby. Matty's graduating high school this year. They're both much nicer than me, that's probably why they still like me.
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Well...I can see how that'd make things a bit awkward, but he's as much to blame for any slips if his spouse would have a fit over it.
[Chris was...a very firmly poly person and, until Kallian came back into the picture, he'd accepted he'd likely only be with Ra'ah through their time together since the rogue was much more monogamous. That was a conversation they'd had though, if Chris had messed up and slept with someone behind Ra'ah's back, that'd be Chris fault.
As far as he was concerned, Nick's 'misstep' was minor compared to this man.
He shrugs.]
Besides, seems little to your sister's business unless she also plans on sleeping with someone she's working with. But you hardly seem like the 'mean one' or even bad one, Nicky. Messy, I'll grant you, but not bad.
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[ granted their problems run deeper than nick's ill-advised affair, but the complicated intricacies of nick's family problems could keep them here all night probably. well into the next day, if he wanted to be thorough.
he doesn't want to be thorough. he wants to paint a nice picture of people that all love each other, but it wouldn't be very true at all. ]
You only know me here. Back home I'm just...lazy. I dropped out of school at like, fifteen, and right after my parents put me up in an apartment in town so that I'd be like, out of everyone's way. I don't do anything, I just get high and sell weed and hang out with Oli.
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[He'd vaguely wondered once or twice, what nobility looked like in the time and worlds Nate and Nick and Caleb came from. He was aware Nate's family history was complicated and Caleb's and now Nick's. Maybe that was just the universal trade-off for money and power: bullshit never-ending.
There's a bit of that he's still thinking over, but he starts with the part that stands out most to him:]
And you think they'd be disappointed in the you here? Cause what you just described doesn't sound like what you've made of yourself now. Nothing's stopping you from being lazy here too.
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[ it's a funny notion, the idea of nick as a prince or a lord, and a decent reminder that it could have been worse. he can't imagine how much pressure would have come with a position like that, but he probably wouldn't have slid out of the family radar quite so easily.
he shifts a little, twists in chris' lap to look at him instead of the ocean. despite the less than cheerful topic, he's still smiling. his family might be complicated, but this...this is nice. even talking about them. nick is surprised to find it doesn't grate on him as much as he'd have expected. ]
Oh, they'd find something. It's basically expected of me. [ it's not the sort of thing that bothers him too much anymore though, when nick shrugs it's genuine. ] Tell me about your twin?
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Maybe they would...but I bet they'd miss how sweet and loving you are. Foolish, maybe, and certainly...[how did he say this nicely?] out there...but still plenty clever and plenty good.
[He gives another kiss, this time to Nick's temple.
Then pulls a hand back to make a motion, a purple light forming in his hand to form the face of a girl, hair darker in the purple light and tied back in a ponytail, but a bright smile like sunshine as she looks over her shoulder at them.]
My twin's name is Rhyt. She's older by five minutes and would tell you such. She's stupid as a stone, but such a way with people as to light up a life by looking at it. [Even with his more 'harsh' assessment, his voice is suffused in adoration and longing.]
She's a rogue and an assassin, but she doesn't take life cruelly, only as necessary and if she can talk her way out of a problem, she'll try that before pain any day. 'Niceness before knives.'
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She smiles like you do.
[ it's a particular kind of painful, missing people in this city. when being with someone means abandoning everything here and returning home, or having them trapped here with you, where every option feels--equally bad. nick is well-versed in missing his family at this point, he's been doing it since he was a teenager, but some days feel a little harder than others.
right now, nick thinks he wouldn't mind some stern disapproval. ]
Are you guys close? How does she feel about all your...lord king shit?
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Once, he'd been starkly aware of just how similar they looked. To the point of resentment, not at Rhyt (never at Rhyt) but at his own soft jawline and shorter stature and very slight curves that gave away what binding and clothing tried to hide. Then there'd been blessed magic and a wish and he'd gotten all the looks he'd wanted: the height, the facial hair, the sharpening of his jaw and slightly broader shoulders...and he looked a little less like his twin.
It stung to have something sharp in a change that should have been sweet, not that he'd ever breathed so much as a word of that to anyone. Nick saying that, that he still looked like her in a noticeable way, was more a relief than he could have guessed.
His eyes sting but he blinks it away.]
We're very close. We got separated when we were four and didn't come back together until twenty-two, but we wrote as we could and we spend as much time together as we can most days now. She's technically Lady Sonom, but she'll be taking up spywork and assassin's trade as my left hand, so, whatever she feels on it, she thinks she'll be there for me and that's all I could ask.