extent | duplicitynet

yeah
absolutely
whenever u want

your place or pierce's?
or the theater

pierce's is fine i'll come to you

kk
i'll wait here for you

( he's not technically staying at pierce's full time. oliver knows better than that, and he doesn't want pierce to get into shit for letting him stay as much as he wants.

but he's here now, and makes himself comfortable on the sofa in the living room while he waits for nick to show up. )

[ nick thinks about portalling and ends up not, because he's still kind of finding his feet with magic after the demon incident. but also because the walk gives him a chance to get his head on straight -- to chain smoke half a pack of cigarettes and get himself prepared for actual conversations, meaningful sharing.

all in all it takes longer than oliver probably expects but still not all that much time to get to pierce's, and he knocks because that's what people do, but lets himself in shortly after because-it's pierce, it's oli. ]

( he wouldn't expect anything less. the door handle turns and oliver turns his head to watch nick come in, offers him a little half-smile before he's--getting up to his feet from the sofa and moving over to the door.

reaches out for nick's hand to intertwine their fingers. )

Pierce's bed is more comfortable. And the other room is going to be Kennedy's, so we probably shouldn't make her sheets smell like a fucking ashtray this early.

[ it's not a relief exactly, when oliver takes his hand, but it's something close. it was one thing when he'd just resurfaced after being missing, relief masks a lot of things, but things aren't dire right now, and oliver still took his hand.

it's something. ]

Oh, I think she'd like it. Remind her of me.

[ but he goes to pierce's room anyway, fingers latches onto oli's and not letting go even as he sits on the bed. far be it for nick to be presumptuous. ]

You caught me. Maybe I'm just looking for an excuse to hang onto the smell of you.

( with a stupid soft kiss pressed against nick's forehead after he sits down. oliver moves over to the opposite end of the mattress, and--throws himself down onto it on his side. pats the space in front of him. )

We're cuddling. ( this is a cuddley conversation. and nick might do better with oliver literally pressed up against him; it'd be a little hard to hide a negative reaction if he had his arm around nick and his chest pressed up against his back. ) Unless you don't want to.

You don't need an excuse.

[ nick doesn't hesitate, it's just that he was expecting "talk" to look a lot more like an interrogation. he certainly doesn't mind flopping back onto the bed though, rearranging himself until he's on his back but tucked into oliver's side, and nick's hand goes reaching out to seek out oliver's again. ]

You can..ask whatever you want. I'm not going to lie.

[ which isn't a qualifier that most people have to add. but nick does. ]

( nick can have his hand. hell, oliver curls his fingers right into nick's and holds on tight. his other arm moves beneath his head to prop himself up a little. his eyes focus on nick's chest, lips pursing for a moment while he thinks of how he should best word this to not sound dickish. )

Why do you think it's too late for you?

I didn't mean to say that.

[ which is the truth, but it's not really in keeping with the spirit of talking. his hand lifts and takes Oliver's with it, so he can press a light kiss to his knuckles and murmur the rest of his answer there. ]

Sometimes...I guess it's like, fucked stuff happens enough that it doesn't matter any more. Like, I'm already fucked up or something.

You didn't mean to, but you were stressed and let out whatever made the most sense at the moment which was something that was-- ( sad and depressing, and a lot of other shit he shouldn't get into because he doesn't want nick to get upset enough to take off again. ) that.

It's not too late for you. I don't like that you thought that whatever it was he was doing with you that made you question whether or not he was a good person was worth it for you to sit and suffer through because you thought it'd keep him away from me. I don't like that you put yourself below me. ( which also isn't a helpful statement. he's got to get better at this. ) Because you're my friend, and I would never put your well-being below my own.

I thought....like by the time you signed, I was already kind of in it, and I just thought. I don't know, that if one good thing could come from this shitty situation--if there was any chance you might not end up hurt too, I had to take it.

[ he lets out a careful breath, measured and controlled so that it doesn't shake, squeezing oliver's fingers quickly. ]

I know you don't think like that. I knew you'd hate it. That's why I didn't tell anyone.

I was already in it too. ( had already signed on with william. had already been hurt by him, by nate's words. he hadn't really thought of it like that. but that's also. part of the reason why oliver had wanted the contract laid out a certain way: no quota requirements, no requirements to stay with william, nothing that could trap him with him if he decided he wanted out.

except that didn't take nick into consideration either. )

It hurt me more knowing he was hurting you than anything he had done with me.

That's why you weren't supposed to find out until it expired.

[ it really was as black and white as that for nick, and even if now he can pull the whole tangled mess apart enough to actually see a perspective other than his own, even if nick now will agree with people that he was objectively in the wrong, he still--doesn't entirely believe it. ]

I knew it'd hurt you, when you found out, but it's nothing like what he could have done to you.

Edited 2022-04-10 07:01 (UTC)

He wasn't hurting me.

( plain and simple, easy to say. it's not technically a lie. he doesn't like that nick put it as what he could have done to you, because that just accents all the shit he did do to nick that he doesn't know about. )

It was like we were playing house. Y'know. I played along with whatever he was into. He'd take me out to a stupidly posh restaurant for dinner. Until I suspected he was doing something to you and told him to stay away from you, everything was fine. Until I told him I was leaving because he didn't stay away from you, he'd never so much as threatened me.

[ he knows that the point he's not supposed to take away from that is that it worked, but it's hard not to feel a little like that's the case. william will do whatever william wants to do, but for a long time all nick was doing was indulging those rough impulses, so that he wouldn't seek it from oliver.

but. he knows that it's not the point, so nick just nods quickly. ]

Good. Good, I'm--I don't want you to know what it's like.

Edited (why does autocorrect hate me) 2022-04-10 07:14 (UTC)

Nick. ( shoving his face into the side of nick's neck, so he can feel his heartbeat. ) He didn't hurt me because I remind him of his ex. He wanted me to stay and knew I didn't like it when he pushed limits. Because he'd try it and I'd bitch at him.

( up until the nick bullshit came to light, is what he's implying here. )

He didn't intend to hurt me. I don't think. Until I gave him reason to believe faking niceities wasn't going to cut it and I was taking off as soon as our contract expired.

I figured. He said...you were a good actor.

[ it's already reaching the point where nick doesn't want to talk about this any more, but he can't clam up now. instead he just swallows, closes his eyes just to see if it's any easier to talk in the dark, drops his voice quieter. ]

I'd only just found out who he really was, when you said you'd contracted with him. Like the day before, and I just--if there was even a chance that it would work, that you could get through the three months without feeling like I felt, I had to take it.

I was fine before you got involved, is what I mean.

( would have made it the whole three months without nick's interferrence, and now it's all a huge mess. )

If we'd talked about it, communicated, we could've avoided either of us getting hurt further. That's--all I want, from here on out. Communication. So we don't get into sticky situations and get ourselves hurt when we can avoid it.

[ the point isn't arguing, so he doesn't. nick just nods his agreement, because even if he thinks that the problem was actually when everyone found out, that's not the point. the point is nick, covering up everything and straight up lying about the things he can't hide. ]

Was I this bad, before here? I can't remember.

I don't think so. But we didn't have bullshit like this come up either.

( a soft kiss pressed to nick's neck, before he's nosing up closer to his ear. )

Don't go back to him. Please? I mean, he couldn't hurt me right now even if he wanted to. I'm warded to hell and back and I have Pierce as my acting bodyguard.

Okay.

[ his voice is barely a whisper as he agrees, squeezing oliver's hand tight as he says it and tugging the arm he still has a hold of tighter across his body.

it's--a gesture, of some kind, that he speaks again without being asked. honesty isn't just about offering up snippets based on what's being asked, on asking the right questions. he's trying. he wants oli to know that he's trying. ]

I saw him, yesterday. Because we were supposed to meet up while I was stuck with Hellboy.

( it pisses him off. because he sent ragnor to nick for a reason. because he thought nick would know better. because now he wants to go yell at ragnor about how stupid nick is but trust goes both ways and he can't open his mouth when nick is talking to him.

oliver holds onto him tight. grips onto nick around his midsection. )

Was there a reason why you thought it was a good idea? To go back to him, after everything.

Because I said I would be there, and then I didn't show.

[ he says it like it's the most simple thing in the world, like this isn't the messiest situation that nick has ever gotten himself tangled up in. ]

I didn't want to find out which threats he would make good on if I just left him to be pissed.

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