extent | duplicitynet

Yeah. Okay, yeah.

[ it sounds doable, when oliver puts it like that. nick twists a little, less on his back and more turned in towards oli, and he only lets go of his hand so that he can wind his arms right around oliver. ]

I'm sorry. About the lying, about...all of it.

( nick turns towards him and oliver moved to intertwine their legs, slides his arm in under nick's to curl his fingers into the hair at the base of his skull. holds him close. )

I can't say it's just okay because it isn't. It hurts more that you went through all of William's bullshit than anything he could've done to me. Which I'm--guessing is how you felt about taking it rather than let me take it. ( a kiss to nick's forehead, gentle. ) I can get why you did it. I don't get why you kept going back even after Ragnor got involved.

( kind of part of the point of pulling him in. but. )

I forgive you, but I don't want something like this to--happen again. Whatever it takes. Okay?

Because...

[ there's any number of reasons why nick kept going back. because he was scared, because it was the only option he saw, because he said he would. because, on some fundamental level that he isn't willing to touch with a ten foot pole, he thought he deserved it. but reasons sound an awful lot like excuses, and some of them he doesn't want to voice anyway, so nick just exhales carefully and tips his head until he's pressing something like a kiss against oliver's jaw, mumbling there instead. ]

I won't do it again. I'll--talk to you, tell you whatever. I don't want anything to get like this again.

( he's not particularly tired, but he likes how laying with nick like this lulls him into relaxing enough he could fall asleep. oliver tips his head in and slides his hand out from under nick's arm, so he can raise it up to cup his cheek, presses their foreheads together. )

Promise me? Not even with just William, but with like--whatever else comes up while we're here.

With anything.

[ it's too big a promise to make, really, but nick makes it anyway. head tipped in, face close and arm around oliver so there's barely any space between them, he wants it to be a promise that he'll keep, so he makes it anyway. ]

I'm so tired of secrets. I don't--like being this person.

Okay.

( he's doubting nick will keep it. that he'll keep his word here, that something won't come along that will make nick want to keep secrets again and oliver will find out about it weeks after it becomes a problem just before it implodes in on itself. but he wants to believe nick. )

I told a lie earlier because I thought it'd help. But if we're aiming for honesty and shit I should probably go back and fix it.

[ that's--fair. nick doesn't really have a leg to stand on, being hurt about lies right now, so he just sort of nods, closing his eyes. ]

About what?

William's a manipulative, witch-hating piece of shit who definitely doesn't believe in asking before pushing boundaries. ( who has hurt oliver, but he doubts it's to the same level as whatever caused nick to have been as cagey as he has been. but he doesn't think nick would really appreciate comparing trauma levels either. ) Sometimes he was sweet and great and everything seemed fine. Sometimes I thought he'd break me before I got a chance to leave.

[ that about tracks with everything nick knew of william, before he realised it was intentional and not just city shit being pulled on the both of them. it makes his stomach turn even thinking about it, but he asks anyway. ]

Tell me what he did.

I don't think it really matters, and I don't think you really want to hear about it anyway.

( tipping his head up to brush his lips against nick's nose gently. it's not going to help nick any if they talk about past experiences with him, just like it won't do shit for oliver if he asks nick what william did to him aside from give him more ideas of crap to do to william himself. so. )

I don't know. I think my imagination can run a little too wild.

[ his mind immediately goes to the nasty brand still sitting low on his own back, the way that only he and william can see it, the way it won't heal no matter what nick tries.

but instead of asking more questions, nick just tilts his head again and kisses oliver. not a soft little brush like all the others, this is hard and a little desperate, and comes with nick mumbling straight into oliver's mouth. ]

I missed you, so much.

( this is fine. oliver leans into the kiss with a soft pleased noise, tipping his head in so he can press his tongue into nick's mouth, pulls back to nip softly at his lips before he's--using his leg to push at nick's hips to try and roll him over onto his back. )

I'm here now.

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