extent | duplicitynet

[ the point isn't arguing, so he doesn't. nick just nods his agreement, because even if he thinks that the problem was actually when everyone found out, that's not the point. the point is nick, covering up everything and straight up lying about the things he can't hide. ]

Was I this bad, before here? I can't remember.

I don't think so. But we didn't have bullshit like this come up either.

( a soft kiss pressed to nick's neck, before he's nosing up closer to his ear. )

Don't go back to him. Please? I mean, he couldn't hurt me right now even if he wanted to. I'm warded to hell and back and I have Pierce as my acting bodyguard.

Okay.

[ his voice is barely a whisper as he agrees, squeezing oliver's hand tight as he says it and tugging the arm he still has a hold of tighter across his body.

it's--a gesture, of some kind, that he speaks again without being asked. honesty isn't just about offering up snippets based on what's being asked, on asking the right questions. he's trying. he wants oli to know that he's trying. ]

I saw him, yesterday. Because we were supposed to meet up while I was stuck with Hellboy.

( it pisses him off. because he sent ragnor to nick for a reason. because he thought nick would know better. because now he wants to go yell at ragnor about how stupid nick is but trust goes both ways and he can't open his mouth when nick is talking to him.

oliver holds onto him tight. grips onto nick around his midsection. )

Was there a reason why you thought it was a good idea? To go back to him, after everything.

Because I said I would be there, and then I didn't show.

[ he says it like it's the most simple thing in the world, like this isn't the messiest situation that nick has ever gotten himself tangled up in. ]

I didn't want to find out which threats he would make good on if I just left him to be pissed.

I went back to kill him after we talked. Didn't, but he told me I was grounded and wasn't allowed to leave for the week. I did, obviously. He said I disrespected him. But didn't do anything to me.

( since they're sharing and all. )

Told me to go to my room when I was still over. Like I'm a fucking child he can tell what to do. He gets off on power and control.

[ he figured as much might have happened, after that fight, but he still doesn't like hearing the confirmation. it feels distinctly like failing in a way that nick doesn't want to examine too hard.

he's going to have to give his therapist one hell of a raise, after all of this is done. ]

Can he find you, now? Does he know any of the places you're staying?

There's no definite no. I moved most my stuff to the Theater. Been staying here, or there, or in the Down provided housing. I sleep in my room at William's sometimes, but I have the door warded against intruders and I make sure he isn't home or in common areas before I go in.

( so he's being safe as he can be. oliver still doesn't think william is a threat to him necessarily, but. )

The day I left, I asked him why he keeps me around. He said I remind him of his ex, Theodore. Who he killed. Which he told me, with his fingers wrapped around my throat. So I'm not planning on going anywhere near him if I can help it.

He's been to our place in the Up before, but not the one in the Down. He doesn't know about it, and it's warded too.

[ it's not a great solution, but there are no great solutions here. regardless of what actually went into the contract, nick has no faith in the city to back anyone other than william if he decides he wants to pull oliver back. ]

I'm--if I stop seeing him, I'm...scared. Of what he'll do, who he'll retaliate against. That it'll be my fault.

I know.

( but he's wrapping himself around nick tighter. swings a leg over his hips to put his weight on top of him and wrap himself around him more. )

Whatever he does if you leave, it isn't your fault. But we can work to stop it. Stop him.

I don't know what stopping him even looks like.

[ it's easier to talk like this, with oli wound tight around him and nick clinging back just as fiercely. one less thing falling apart, when everything else feels like it's crumbling around him. ]

He made me tell him everyone that knew. He thought I was the one who talked. And now--everyone knows, and I don't know how I'm supposed to keep all of them safe.

So we'll stick together. You and me.

( just like this, maybe. wrapped around each other where it's safe. )

If he calls you, hand me the phone. I'll talk to him. We'll put enough protection spells on everyone to keep him off. Kyle, Michael, and Nate all seem--competent, strong enough they can probably take him on without an issue. We can try to stay in groups? Buddy system it until my contract expires and I've signed with Pierce. Pierce and I can put shit in there to help keep him off too.

Yeah. Okay, yeah.

[ it sounds doable, when oliver puts it like that. nick twists a little, less on his back and more turned in towards oli, and he only lets go of his hand so that he can wind his arms right around oliver. ]

I'm sorry. About the lying, about...all of it.

( nick turns towards him and oliver moved to intertwine their legs, slides his arm in under nick's to curl his fingers into the hair at the base of his skull. holds him close. )

I can't say it's just okay because it isn't. It hurts more that you went through all of William's bullshit than anything he could've done to me. Which I'm--guessing is how you felt about taking it rather than let me take it. ( a kiss to nick's forehead, gentle. ) I can get why you did it. I don't get why you kept going back even after Ragnor got involved.

( kind of part of the point of pulling him in. but. )

I forgive you, but I don't want something like this to--happen again. Whatever it takes. Okay?

Because...

[ there's any number of reasons why nick kept going back. because he was scared, because it was the only option he saw, because he said he would. because, on some fundamental level that he isn't willing to touch with a ten foot pole, he thought he deserved it. but reasons sound an awful lot like excuses, and some of them he doesn't want to voice anyway, so nick just exhales carefully and tips his head until he's pressing something like a kiss against oliver's jaw, mumbling there instead. ]

I won't do it again. I'll--talk to you, tell you whatever. I don't want anything to get like this again.

( he's not particularly tired, but he likes how laying with nick like this lulls him into relaxing enough he could fall asleep. oliver tips his head in and slides his hand out from under nick's arm, so he can raise it up to cup his cheek, presses their foreheads together. )

Promise me? Not even with just William, but with like--whatever else comes up while we're here.

With anything.

[ it's too big a promise to make, really, but nick makes it anyway. head tipped in, face close and arm around oliver so there's barely any space between them, he wants it to be a promise that he'll keep, so he makes it anyway. ]

I'm so tired of secrets. I don't--like being this person.

Okay.

( he's doubting nick will keep it. that he'll keep his word here, that something won't come along that will make nick want to keep secrets again and oliver will find out about it weeks after it becomes a problem just before it implodes in on itself. but he wants to believe nick. )

I told a lie earlier because I thought it'd help. But if we're aiming for honesty and shit I should probably go back and fix it.

[ that's--fair. nick doesn't really have a leg to stand on, being hurt about lies right now, so he just sort of nods, closing his eyes. ]

About what?

William's a manipulative, witch-hating piece of shit who definitely doesn't believe in asking before pushing boundaries. ( who has hurt oliver, but he doubts it's to the same level as whatever caused nick to have been as cagey as he has been. but he doesn't think nick would really appreciate comparing trauma levels either. ) Sometimes he was sweet and great and everything seemed fine. Sometimes I thought he'd break me before I got a chance to leave.

[ that about tracks with everything nick knew of william, before he realised it was intentional and not just city shit being pulled on the both of them. it makes his stomach turn even thinking about it, but he asks anyway. ]

Tell me what he did.

I don't think it really matters, and I don't think you really want to hear about it anyway.

( tipping his head up to brush his lips against nick's nose gently. it's not going to help nick any if they talk about past experiences with him, just like it won't do shit for oliver if he asks nick what william did to him aside from give him more ideas of crap to do to william himself. so. )

I don't know. I think my imagination can run a little too wild.

[ his mind immediately goes to the nasty brand still sitting low on his own back, the way that only he and william can see it, the way it won't heal no matter what nick tries.

but instead of asking more questions, nick just tilts his head again and kisses oliver. not a soft little brush like all the others, this is hard and a little desperate, and comes with nick mumbling straight into oliver's mouth. ]

I missed you, so much.

( this is fine. oliver leans into the kiss with a soft pleased noise, tipping his head in so he can press his tongue into nick's mouth, pulls back to nip softly at his lips before he's--using his leg to push at nick's hips to try and roll him over onto his back. )

I'm here now.

duplicitynet | inbox

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject