extent | duplicitynet

[ Nate's hands move up to his face, then slip down to settle lightly over his neck. ]

I'll always come back for you. Doesn't matter where I go or what happens.

[ Nate looks at him, and then just shakes his head and pulls Nick close again. He can feel it through their bond, all the worry, all the grief. All of it. He remembers what it was like to feel Nick die. That moment of pain and terror and then just--nothing. So dark and cold, so much that he would've done anything to have the fear back because the nothing was so much worse. ]

Did you tell the others? Caleb?

Caleb, and Oli.

[ he might have gotten further in passing the message along, if there had been more time, if that emptiness hadn't held quite such a tight grip on his chest, if he hadn't spent most of those days staring vacantly at a blank stretch of ceiling and trying to scrape together the drive to just get up. he'd half-expected to spend the next three weeks trying to figure out how to function. he'd half-expected to spend the rest of his time here doing that, too.

but nate's here, and that might not change the hundred other problems banging at their door right now, but it's one — and it's a big one. he might as well have been drowning, before nate washed up on shore. they might as well have both taken their first breaths then. ]

Here, I brought...something. Clothes, I didn't check what.

[ Caleb and Oli. So Nate will find them first. He leans back, finally, and crouches to gather the clothes. ]

Thank you. I mean, Jesus, you strip on a sailing ship one time and this happens.

[ He pulls on a t-shirt and...a pair of shorts, which is definitely more Nick than Nate, but. Well. Everyone here has already seen his knees anyway. He stands up, and just reaches for Nick again. ]

Are you okay? Is...what did I miss?

You were only gone a few days. I thought it was going to be longer.

[ forever, actually, but he's already more or less made that point, and anyway nick is supposed to be something of a relentless optimist, and he's been sorely lacking in that front lately. he's less interested in how he'd spent the days since he'd felt nate's life disappear, and more in what exactly happened on that boat. ]

Are you alright? [ physically, nick's already reaching out faint, gentle tendrils of healing magic, searching for any damage he might not immediately be able to see. but he doesn't just mean physically. not here, when that's not even close to the worst thing that can happen. ] It all happened so quickly. What did you find?

[ Nate can feel that gentle magic touching him. His eyes flicker shut beneath it, even though there really isn't any damage for it to heal.

He does laugh, though. ]

Couple of days. Of course it was.

[ He rubs his eyes, and then reaches to take Nick's hands. ]

I'm okay. I did a healing spell already, but all it got rid of was the salt burn in my eyes. There's, uh...

[ He lifts up his- well, Nick's t-shirt to find a new scar across his stomach. There's a few more over his arms, though his tattoos make them harder to see. ]

We ran into the kraken, that's what finally ended it. I tried to go dragon versus kraken, and that was cool for a minute. Better way to go than last time.

[ Then a beat. ]

Wasn't the worst part. Can we go somewhere? I don't know if...

I have theories, and I don't reckon everyone needs to hear them yet.

A kraken. Do you think that might have been what was dragging people off the beach last year?

[ nick is not the sort of person who is inclined to even think to say i told you so, which is a shame really, because he did make very specific mention of tentacles when the plan had first been floated. instead his hand just finds the scar on nate's stomach, settling there for a moment before he glances up the beach. ]

Oh, yeah, hang on. I'll take us--

[ he doesn't finish the sentence because he doesn't really need to, he's already opening a portal up right beside them. only as far as his own house -- really it's laziness at this point, they can't be more than a few minutes from the beachside property on foot, but portal it is all the same. walking can't deposit them straight into the safety and comfort of nick's bedroom, anyway. ]

Probably, unless there's two of them. Which there might be, we didn't run into it for some time. Which is...

[ He breaks off as he focuses on the portal and steps through. He's as comfortable in Nick's bedroom as his own, honestly, so it's easy to sink down onto the bed. He brings his hands to rest on his lap, and looks up at Nick. ]

It wasn't a couple of days. It was like a week, and it was...blazing hot, for a while. I was sunburned a couple of days ago.

[ It's faded to a very mild tan, now. He pushes wet hair out of his eyes and takes a breath. ]

At first it was just...Nick, do you remember what I told you about Thorn's realm? There was no night, the sun didn't move in the sky?

[ once they're in his room nick feels a little better, another little breath that he didn't quite realise he was holding released. there's a certainty to his being back that comes with nate here, rather than on the beach. there's space to think about something other than the utter, sheer relief that he's okay. ]

You think we're in a Hell dimension?

[ a week on the ship, enough time to burn, enough time for a fight like that--to nate. nick's timeline looks a little different, and he drops down to sit next to nate, a slight furrow in his brow. ]

Here...you left in the morning, and I couldn't really tell what the day was like. You were still there, I just couldn't really pinpoint what you were feeling, it just felt--weird. And then late that night you- [ saying it still makes his stomach lurch, even with the very alive nate sitting next to him, and he reaches over to catch hold of one of nate's hands before he finishes. ] You died. It's been three days since then.

[ Nate's eyebrows shoot up. ]

I died that same night?

[ That makes a difference. It had felt like at least a week to him at sea. He could've been convinced that it was a few days - half that time instead of the full time. But one day? Everything that happened on the ship happened in one day?

No. He's shaking his head.

He also keeps a tight hold of Nick's hand, and twines their fingers together. ]

It's impossible. I mean, we had no way to track time, nothing worked, but...first there was that blazing sun, and then we got caught in this mist. No matter what way I pushed us with the wind, we couldn't get out of it, it wasn't natural. It made us all angry, too, and aggressive, and scared. We were fighting with each other, it was intense. Then, eventually, we found the kraken, or it found us. But we were so far from shore by then. It couldn't have only been a day.

[ He frowns, and lets out a breath. It only reinforces what he was already thinking. ]

Being out there reminded me more of hell than anything else I've seen. Yeah. I think we're in a hell dimension, or something like it.

[ there's a lot of theories floating around on what exactly it is going on here; nick has heard a few, but never really took the time to settle on any of them. deliberately, for the most part, because he doesn't like to think too much about anything that he can't change, but it's impossible not to consider all the ideas, after spending this much time in the city.

a hell dimension is plausible, honestly, and it explains--a lot. nick nods, quiet for a moment, and after he lets out an exhale of his own he squeezes a little tighter onto nate's hand. ]

I mean, it makes sense, right? Like, I suppose it's possible that there's a place somewhere in some universe that could do everything this city can, but it just seems...I don't know. But a hell dimension, like we've seen how much power this place has.

[ Nate used to actively resist the idea that this was hell. He thought that played into religious ideas that he wasn't willing to give credence to, and at any rate the majority of people captive here were alive. Not all, granted, but most.

Since then, his own experience has somewhat broadened. He was caught in a hell while he was alive. Who's to say Duplicity's masters couldn't have made an industry out of the same thing? So much about the city doesn't make sense for a real place. Where they get everything from has never made sense. Maybe the answer is that it isn't real. Maybe that's always been the answer. ]

People like the Creator, like Bel. They're powerful, they're untouchable. If they're demons that would make sense. Belial is literally a demon's name, I just thought it was meant to fuck with us. Maybe it's what it sounds like. Hell dimensions are made for torturing people after all. It's hard to argue that's not what's happening here.

I asked Ragnor once, if it would really change anything if this turned out not to be real. He said something like...that it's still happening to us, we're still feeling things, even if wherever we are is all fake.

[ that was about as much as nick could tolerate of the conversation at the time, and honestly he doesn't feel much better about it now. it's a big picture kind of question when nick is very much caught in the little picture problems, in his little spheres of life rather than the state of everything. the people matter, the feelings matter. the fact that it feels real, matters. ]

Do you think we'll ever figure out a way out of here on our own terms?

[ Nate's jaw tightens. ]

I was in Thorn's realm for a decade or more and I couldn't get out. Not until people from outside were able to help. There was only one of me, but...

I mean, you know how all our plans have gone so far.

[ This sounds an awful lot like giving up, which is very anti-everything Nate's content to be. There's no denying that what he'd seen on the ship had dented his hope, though. If this trap is what he thinks it is, it's hard to imagine how they might escape from this side under their own power. ]

I think...we need to focus on keeping our memories when we leave this place. We need to get a message to people whose powers aren't constrained by being here. We need help, I don't think there's any way around that now.

It's got to be a lot easier for someone to break in than for us to break out at this point.

[ it does sound like it's skirting close to giving up, but if he's very honest with himself nick suspects that he probably gave up a while ago. he leans in a little closer, enough that he can rest his shoulder against nate and settle some of his weight against him, looking down at their joined hands. ]

When we fall asleep here, "go back" without leaving, do you think that's actually happening?

[ Nate lets their shoulders touch, and then just leans against Nick. His thumb moves against Nick's hand.

He's as honest as he can be, but it's probably as low as he's ever felt here. ]

No.

I think the memories are real, but...my body back in my world didn't have the marks this one does. This one reflects what I did there, but it didn't work in reverse.

[ A slow breath. ]

When people vanish and then come back with new memories, like Alec did. I think they physically leave, but. Where they go, I don't know. It might not be home. They might just get a download from home, later.

Do you ever think...

[ he doesn't really want to finish the question, or put voice to something that until now has been nothing but a nasty lurking fear, unpleasant but easily ignored. nick doesn't want to think about these sorts of things, it's just another reason why he hardly ever talks about home. he's good at avoidance, usually.

but he swallows hard, tries to carefully exhale without letting it become a sigh, continues more quietly than before. ]

Do you ever think that...none of that could be real? The memories, the leaving, the returning. That all of that could just be some--construct, too?

[ Nate moves to put his arm around Nick, to pull him close.he holds him, and then kisses his temple. ]

Maybe. I've spent a long time trying to work out what was real.

[ Duplicity hadn't felt real since he came back. But maybe his own world wouldn't have, either, after Thorn's dimension. Maybe he always would've had that problem. ]

I know that this is real, though. You and me, how I feel about you. How I feel about Caleb. That's all real.

In the end, that's all I really want to hold onto. I don't care about anything else. Even...my own freedom. It's not as important as keeping hold of you.

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