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user name: nick
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[guylining]

[ Nate lets their shoulders touch, and then just leans against Nick. His thumb moves against Nick's hand.

He's as honest as he can be, but it's probably as low as he's ever felt here. ]

No.

I think the memories are real, but...my body back in my world didn't have the marks this one does. This one reflects what I did there, but it didn't work in reverse.

[ A slow breath. ]

When people vanish and then come back with new memories, like Alec did. I think they physically leave, but. Where they go, I don't know. It might not be home. They might just get a download from home, later.

[extent]

Do you ever think...

[ he doesn't really want to finish the question, or put voice to something that until now has been nothing but a nasty lurking fear, unpleasant but easily ignored. nick doesn't want to think about these sorts of things, it's just another reason why he hardly ever talks about home. he's good at avoidance, usually.

but he swallows hard, tries to carefully exhale without letting it become a sigh, continues more quietly than before. ]

Do you ever think that...none of that could be real? The memories, the leaving, the returning. That all of that could just be some--construct, too?

[guylining]

[ Nate moves to put his arm around Nick, to pull him close.he holds him, and then kisses his temple. ]

Maybe. I've spent a long time trying to work out what was real.

[ Duplicity hadn't felt real since he came back. But maybe his own world wouldn't have, either, after Thorn's dimension. Maybe he always would've had that problem. ]

I know that this is real, though. You and me, how I feel about you. How I feel about Caleb. That's all real.

In the end, that's all I really want to hold onto. I don't care about anything else. Even...my own freedom. It's not as important as keeping hold of you.