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user name: nick
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[guylining]

he's dead. i was there.

nick, i'm so sorry.

[extent]

how did that even
like i mean its caliban

are you sure?

[guylining]

i couldn't summon him after

[extent]

was it bad? like

did he suffer

do i want to know

[guylining]

it was quick. i think maybe you don't want to know more, i don't think it would help anything

[extent]

i hate this place a lot right now

[guylining]

i know

there's so much fucking happening all the time

like i literally just went to tell thorn what's been happening in the last what 3 days or something and it was a list of like 8 different things

one of which is that the ship leaves tomorrow
which is the other piece of bad news i had.

[extent]

i just want a fucking holiday at this point tbh maybe if i go sit far out enough in the woods things might stop happening for 5 minutes


god
i forgot about the ship

[guylining]

the way things are going you'd just get kidnapped by a slenderman or something


i know the timing sucks
thorn is gonna come with me
i brought all my oli research to the theatre, it's all there and labelled with probably more notes than is helpful

[extent]

i thought you were still on the fence about him

[guylining]

it's

it's so complicated. there's a part of me that's still afraid, but

the more i talk to him the more sure i am that it's my thorn in control. if he loses control, then. well that's a risk
but he's in control now, and he put himself through a lot of pain to prove it
caliban did a spell. i helped, and
it was really hard to watch. he was bleeding, he was in agony, he was shouting for us to stop. and he still would've kept going just to keep me safe.

[extent]

i mean
if you think its a good idea

[guylining]

i trust him

[extent]

you just said you're still afraid of him

[guylining]

of what's inside him

but i trust him. like there is no doubt in my mind that he would never hurt me, not so long as he's in control

[extent]

ok

this is just happening very quickly

[guylining]

i know

i'm sorry

look don't worry about any of this, you've already got so much going on
it's okay

[extent]

i'm not going to not worry about it, nate, you know that

[guylining]

i'm just not trying to put more on you

talk to him yourself? see what you think

[extent]

and i keep saying i want to know anyway

i dont know if what i think matters that much here. i didn't know him before, you're the only one who did. if you think he's got it under control, i mean you're the expert

[guylining]

i do

i worry about being blinded by how much i want that to be true

but everything i've seen tells me it is true. at least right now

[extent]

im not going to pretend like i don't wish you were taking a bit more time with this

but i want it to be true too. so if you're right, everythings great, and if youre not. we can just deal with that if it comes

[guylining]

i get why
and i meant to, like. i was planning to

i just missed him
and he was right there and it just seemed crazy to me

like you know what this place is like, it could take him away again next month. i don't want to waste time

but that's not to say i'm not gonna watch out for changes. ineroth still scares me more than anything. if that control is broken, i need to know.

[extent]

please dont like
not talk to me about this stuff just bc theres a lot going on

[guylining]

i wish it wasn't happening all at once
i don't want to make everything about me