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user name: nick
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[extent]

you don't have to be that guy anymore

nate is who you are now, you don't have to try and force yourself back into a shape that doesn't fit any more. it's going to take time to find a new normal, but no one expects you to just fall right back into place
and if they do i'll tell them to fuck off

you'll figure out your new rhythm here and what that looks like, its only been a few weeks and you were gone for years
i know you know this but you put so much pressure on yourself
its ok to not have it all figured out right now

[guylining]

i don't know if it is, though

i've got to figure out thorn, i've got to figure out oli, i'm about to set sail on a ship that i have to protect and direct with magic, there's creepy shadow things everywhere and people were popping in and out of the wrong bodies, there's really not time for me to be in my head about ~where i fit~ and ~where i belong~ and ~what i want day to day life to look like now that i actually have one again~

like i keep just straight up not remembering to put food inside me
like why do i have a headache why does my stomach hurt oh because i haven't fed it today
i feel like i've forgotten to be alive and there's no time to remember. this place doesn't ever stop

[extent]

you can't do everything, and no one expects you to. there's always going to be shit happening nate, that's just what being here is. if you don't let yourself figure out that day to day shit too you'll never be together enough to figure out the big stuff too

focus on the ship for now, that's happening right away, the rest

we'll figure it all out, alright? it's not just you
we'll figure it out

[guylining]

i know it's not, i just

i want to be at my best and i feel like i'm still catching up

i'll be ok. i've gotten through a lot worse, i promise.

[extent]

i know you will

i just want you to know that you will be

[guylining]

i know.
i'm not doing it alone, anyway.

[extent]

you're not
there's so many people that love you and we all want to help, with all of it
i dont care if we're grappling with demon containment spells or trying to find your new favorite song

i'm here for it all

[guylining]

i know

i can always feel you.
i wish i'd had that back home.
i wish i'd had you.