extent | duplicitynet

mmm i am intensely more comfortable having BDSM sessions w strangers than telling an actual whole person i have feelings for them
that's not even a question

( you're talking about nick now ragnor, keep up )

i can understand it being embarrassing if you're not sure your feelings are reciprocated.

[ ragnor still has no idea, but he didn't want his pining to involve a side of 'maybe if i told him he'd tell me he likes me back' ]

but if you're giving him puppy eyes and he's giving them to you back and no one says anything, then keeping it quiet is absolutely ridiculous.

ok but what if u did say something
and then he got arrested the next day
so now u just have way too much time 2 sit and fucking stew on everything
wwyd

Kyle likes you too, it's so obvious I'm sure it can be seen from space.

ok but does he or is the situation just weird and confusing bc we live together and fuck a lot
do i like him or am i just getting the situation confused
it's literally going to end in disaster this is exactly why i think people should keep these things to themselves

Bloody hell, Nick. It's not that complicated, you like him and he likes you. You can enjoy that for as long as it lasts. If in the future your feelings or his feelings change, you talk about it with the understanding neither of you wants to hurt the other.

it is exactly that complicated
i have categorically ruined anything that even looks like a relationship, every single time, usually on purpose
and then here everything is like 10x more complicated
i dont know how to not do that
this is why i dont do feelings, i dont know how this happened

I am sure you are capable of identifying and ignoring your flight or fight instincts.

When you feel the urge to blow up a relationship, ignore it and be honest instead. If you're scared, admit you're scared. Relationships don't have to be roller-coasters.

if everything was that simple no one would ever have any problems
i don't try to be like this i just don't know how to be anything else

You didn't shut me out. You felt the impulse, you were close to doing it, and you decided not to.

still thinking about it tbh

( stop making sense :| )

its like not even a thing this is so ahead of myself anyway
he got me a gift. it was really sweet.

he's a very sweet man.

very
he won't let me go and see him. it's stupid.

( hence this whole moody little tantrum )

he wants to protect you the only way he can. let him.

im starting to feel like a broken record but i really dont need as much protecting as everyone seems to think i do

take a minute to try to look it from the outside. this is a very protective man who failed to protect his recently contracted submissive, was then very immediately and publicly exposed, and then jailed before he had any time to comfort the submissive that, in his perception, he already failed once.

could it be perhaps, that this is less about you than you think it is?

( nick responds exactly as well as expected, which is to say he immediately switches his device off and does not respond at all.

or at least he doesn't until a good hour later, after he's gone through a whole range of emotions and come out the other side maybe...slightly more reasonable. )

well when you put it like that i guess it makes sense

[ ragnor has learned to expect nick to react poorly to any kind of call-out, the surprise here is that it only takes him an hour to circle back. ]

i don't know how much of it is the city's psychological pressure, but dominants do tend to get it into their heads that they are responsible for their submissives' well-being.

i mean
it's not his fault
i just don't know how to actually convince him that it isn't

sometimes beating people over the head with facts work, and sometimes your best option is to be there and let them work through it on their own.

i guess. it just sucks
i'm pretty sure he's like convinced he's going to hurt me or some shit now
i dont know how to get that out of his head either

its been a long week

if he's determined not to hurt you and you are determined not to push him away, it will be fine.

that is some power of love horseshit right there

but like yeah. probably. ugh.

I have managed to maintain relationships for hundreds of years. I like to think I know a thing or two.

i feel like these problems are probably not universal but i suppose u can occasionally be right about things some of the time

the whole thing still sucks for like 236747 reasons tho

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject