extent | duplicitynet

he doesn't, he's deeply offended that i don't trust him and that i'm prioritising my friend's experience with jon over his
as in the friend who jon mind-raped
also he thinks i'm full of myself for thinking jon still gives a shit, which he might not, but like. he did before, and i'm just assuming nothing's changed

it's honestly just
i'm too tired for this

but thank you. i appreciate it, more than you know

i mean surely he at least understands why you'd have reservations about this guy i mean its not like he just theoretically can do this stuff it's like
he has

even if he's not doing it to chris its still a thing he can do. does do.

idk. at least he can't come in the theatre.

i know

like i'm serious i'm too tired for this

i'm glad you can see where i'm coming from

i'm sorry. i wish shit like this didnt just
keep on happening.

i love you. i'm with you

me too
like i don't know where this random drama keeps coming from honestly

it does remind me why i was so fucked up before i went coma. there was just so much, all happening at once
one thing after another

i love you too, you know.

i know. i always do

i know theres like, a whole lifes worth of shit youve got too now but like
are you still like
where you were before the coma shit?

not really

i mean honestly
like i was trapped in hell, i've literally been running for my life for, i don't know how long
i was tortured for, also i don't know how long. i just kept going
and then the one person who kept me somewhat sane through that was consumed in front of me and then i woke up here

i don't know whether i'm coming or going
but the whole thing where i was so stuck on being attacked, on almost dying. on actually dying
it all seems small
because i've lived through worse and still come out of it

does that make sense

yeah, it makes sense

everything that happened here must feel like so long ago, even on top of everything that happened to you its got to put things in like
perspective i guess

something like that.
i don't care so much that i died anymore
i remember caring about it

but in ineroth's realm, it got to the point where i honestly didn't think i'd get out alive. i was more worried about getting thorn out. and freeing as many as i could, to stop ineroth from getting more powerful
my own life didn't really matter anymore

i still sort of feel that way. what's going to happen will happen
death is very definitively not the end, anyway. i've seen the truth of that
i'm not afraid of it.
i just want to do what good i can while i'm still living, i think that's what matters.

ok

i do get what you're saying i do but like

your life does matter. you matter. you're not just the sum of your parts and actions
i get that you want to do good i really do but you dont have to sacrifice yourself to do it

i hope not
i guess we'll see, someday.

i'm not out to throw my life away or anything. if i can find a way to beat this thing and somehow still come out the other end to drink daiquiris and put on magic shows again, believe me i will

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