extent | duplicitynet

[ Is it strange that it's so comfortable to lie like this, with another person wrapped so tightly around him? That everything feels so good, from the face tucked against his throat to that herbal scent to the familiarity of Nick's voice and his room and his shape.

It's not perfect. Guilt still sits uncomfortably in Nate's chest. It's obvious that Nick is still holding some things back, and there's the worry about how dangerous those things might be. There's still also the worry that Kyle knows less than Nate, and that it feels wrong to keep things from him. More guilt, at the knowledge that Nate will do it anyway, because Nick asked him to and because Nate doesn't want to let Nick down ever again.

It's not perfect.

So why does it feel like it is? ]

I think...

[ He shifts, so that he can see Nick's face and meet his eyes. ]

I think that I thought someone else was my soulmate. I was so sure.

But now I think I was wrong, because that was before I met you.

[ nick tips his head, reaches up to cup nate's cheek, and just looks at him for a long moment. nick looks at nate so much, he thinks he probably has the map of his face memorised. the slope of his nose, the shape of his eyes, the curve of his jaw all live somewhere in nick's mind. he could close his eyes and picture nate's face, stroke for stroke, without any trouble.

but he looks anyway. ]

I don't know if I believe in soulmates. [ he says it softly, leans up closer to his face, finishes the statement up close enough that he could almost kiss nate. ] But if I did, I'm pretty sure mine would be you.

[ Nate's breath catches between heartbeats. Nick is so close, Nate can feel his breath on his lips. His head tilts and he brushes their lips together, the briefest, most electric touch. ]

I didn't used to, [ he murmurs. He never used to feel like he bought into any of those more romantic notions. So much has changed here.

His hand comes up to graze Nick's jaw. ]

I can't imagine not being with you. I've only known you a year, but still I can't.

Me either.

[ in this position, it's easy to tilt his head just a fraction and bring their lips together again. it's another light kiss, soft, barely contact at all and nick's heart stops with it anyway. ]

I think...part of me knew right away. [ it's a stupid sort of confession -- hardly embarrassing, but it feels like his cheeks heat up as though it is anyway. the words come easy anyway, shared quietly and just about whispered right into nate's mouth. ] I didn't trust anyone, when I got here. But I trusted you.

[ The gentle kisses pluck Nate's heartstrings the most. He wants to sing with them. They're perfect.

He kisses Nick's cheek, and runs his hand gently down his back. ]

I felt like I knew you. Right from the start. From the first day, when we were working together. You know I could spend like, every minute with you? I don't think I'd ever get bored.

You better not.

[ it's a joke, funny only because it's impossible. the idea of ever being with nate and being bored is just laughable, nick can't imagine a world where it's even a possibility.

it's that much sweeter because of how soft it is, the gentle hand on his back, the way their kisses trade back and forth just brush against each other. nick nudges his nose against nate's cheek, smothers a smile against it too. ]

I always think I love you as much as I possibly can, you know. Like, every day I think that, and every day I love you more anyway. And I think about like, a month down the line, or a year, and I can't even imagine what it's going to look like, because I think I love you the most I can now, but I know it's just going to...keep getting bigger.

[ Nate doesn't say it, but he can't look down the line like that. It terrifies him, the thought of their future, because he knows there might be a time when they can't do this. He knows that Nick could disappear, like Nick Scratch did. Like so many people do.

And if that happened to Nick, Nate doesn't know what he would do. It's the thing that scares him most. ]

I think...every day with you I feel something I didn't think I could. I never thought I'd want to be touching someone all the time, or just...spend every minute with the same person.

But I do. I'm happiest when I'm just here. When we're doing this.

[ He brushes his lips over Nick's cheekbone, and moves them into his hair. These are soft kisses, but they're somehow more possessive than when they're rough with each other. ]

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