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user name: nick
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@nate

[guylining]

nick

babe

what do you need?

[extent]

i dont know
i dont know what to do

[guylining]

you have to wait
that's all you can do
wait and be there for him, when

listen don't come into work. stay with kyle, feel what you're feeling. you need to.

[extent]

i cant i have like
i have shit i need to do

[guylining]

no you don't

i can do it
i can do whatever you need done

[extent]

no you cant you know what im like i leave everything to the end of the week and theres no instructions anywhere like obviously i didnt plan to not be in work why would i plan for like

jesus christ nate
his body was just on the floor

[guylining]

i know

did it bring up

i mean

are you having flashbacks do you need help with that
it's ok if that's happening

[extent]

i cant think about my shit i like literally dont have time ive gotta do

i dont know

fuck this is so messed up

[guylining]

nick, i don't want you to

to push this down
that doesn't help, it doesn't make it go away
you've got to let yourself feel it or it'll drown you

there are two things worse than dying
one is waking up again and the other is seeing it all happen to someone you love

and you and kyle, that's where you both are and

i wish i could just feel it instead of you so you don't have to
i'm so sorry

[extent]

i hear you i do and im gonna but just like

tomorrow

i cant do kyle and me at the same time and he's known the guy for like ever
he's in love with him i cant like

i can't think about my shit right now i need to focus

[guylining]

just because he's known him longer doesn't make anything you're feeling less valid

i don't want you to push your own feelings aside because it's easier to look after him

i want to look after you

[extent]

if i look at my feelings for even like 3 minutes its all fucking over and i cant afford to do that right now

im i just need to like. i need to stop thinking and get through today and then tomorrow i dont know i can start picking apart whatever the fuck is going on in my head

[guylining]

okay

listen, nick. i love you, and i'm going to be wherever you want me to be okay

i'd like to come over and see you both
and bring food and make sure you actually eat something and all of that

[extent]

i love you

you can come over, its ok. i want you here

[guylining]

ok

i'm serious about the eating

also if you would like i can stay with kyle for a while and you can sleep or decompress or whatever you want to do

[extent]

im gonna be honest i dont have like an appetite really right now but i will
eat something probably yes

itll help, i think. if someone else is here. i dont know if i'll sleep but yeah im just
itll be easier

[guylining]

i'm there. you're in the up i take it?

i'm gonna get you through this, i promise

should i bring more blood from haven for kyle?

[extent]

yeah, we're in the up

shit. thats a good idea. i mean usually we have some in the house but like i dont know how long thats even for, i should know that, its never normally a problem

fuck

[guylining]

it's okay let me worry about that

i can go back for more if i need to

is there anything else i can bring?

[extent]

fucking
catfood i was going to ask michael to get some after work if the place was still open bc i fucking forgot didnt i but i didnt even text him i was just like oh i'll do it later

not drugs or booze

[guylining]

hey it's okay i can get it

send me a pic of the one they like

dog food too if you need it i don't mind

are you staying sober?

[extent]

fuck no but if i get high rn im not coming down for like 4 days so atm i guess i am

[guylining]

okay

listen i'm gonna be there really soon and i'll have everything with me

i'll see you really soon

[extent]

i love you
thank you

[guylining]

i love you
soon, i promise.

[ He comes early in the afternoon, after stopping by Anna's place, and then hitting Haven and the supermarket. There's a bag of blood in one hand, and groceries in the other, and then he ports to Nick's door direct from the elevator. ]

Hey, Nick it's me! Sorry I took a minute. I'm here.