duplicitynet | inbox

[extent]

user name: nick
text | video | voice | action | etc

Comments

[snikthatch]

never

[extent]

you dont have to spare my feelings

[snikthatch]

you think you need to tell me that?

you've been a lot of things to me Nick
but never disposable

[extent]

i think that the people who care about me have a vested interest in protecting me from getting hurt and i dont blame anyone for that

i also think that the chevalier doesnt have any reason to lie. and i also think that i have a lot of sex, with a lot of people, a lot of the time. if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck.

[snikthatch]

you want me to tell you he's right so you can feel bad about it instead of pissed at him?

[extent]

i'm going to feel bad regardless, why would i bother being pissed at him too

[snikthatch]

because he deserves it

you ever been pissed at me? at what I did to you?

[extent]

that wasn't you

[snikthatch]

you can be angry at people who hurt you Nick, no matter how it happens

[extent]

why would i be angry at you when you werent responsible
im pissed at the people that made it happen but thats even more pointless

so theres not really any point in getting angry about things.

[snikthatch]

there doesn't have to be a point
you just feel it and let the pain do something other than eat at your insides

[extent]

if i felt my feelings all the time i'm pretty sure i'd go insane

[snikthatch]

how's not feeling them at all working out for you?

[extent]

i havent had a total meltdown yet so i must be doing something right

[snikthatch]

[ Typing and then -- not typing for a while. There aren't a whole lot of steps between understanding what Nick's going through and realising how much their relationship, and how they are together, has influenced that. And even fewer between that and realising that maybe, despite the ways he tries otherwise, he's ultimately doing more harm than good.

Still. ]

you need somewhere else to be right now?

[extent]

are you offering?

[snikthatch]

if it would help

[extent]

i dont really want to have sex right now ( a shocking revelation, surely. ) but if you have another suggestion

yeah, it'd help.

[snikthatch]

[ The fact that he feels like he needs to say that at all confirms most of Logan's fears, but Nick isn't the only one ignoring his feelings right now. ]

I was working on my bike
you can come and watch

[extent]

yeah okay
i dont know shit about bikes, you'll have to teach me something
you there now?

[snikthatch]

yeah there's a garage near the loft, we're storing them in there

you don't have to help
there's beer
you can play music if you want

[extent]

it might be interesting. helping.

give me a bit, i'm omw. and youre not allowed to complain about my music choices

[snikthatch]

when do I complain about your music choices

[extent]

you don't, it's real sweet. see you soon

( uncharacteristically, nick isn't high or drunk when he turns up. he just looks tired, mostly, made worse by the fact that he doesn't mask the flat look on his face either. it takes longer than it should have for him to get to the garage, but he doesn't make any excuses when he arrives, just spins his device idly between two fingers as he sticks his head inside. )

You know, I can't drive.

( he offers up the information conversationally as he peers about the space, mildly curious. he's still messing with the device distractedly between his hands, but if the screen lights up with notifications he ignores it for the time being. )

Hey.

[snikthatch]

[ When he gets there, he'll find Logan sitting on an upturned plastic crate, a heavy bike chain in his hands. He's carefully scrubbing at it with an old toothbrush. The motorcycle next to him is in a state of partial disassembly, various small parts scattered around it on newspapers on the floor. Another motorcycle, this one with a red color scheme, is parked in the garage, along with various bits of gym equipment and broken furniture stacked haphazardly in the corners and along the back wall.

There's a half-empty sixer by Logan's boot and a radio playing a country song with particularly filthy lyrics.

Logan glances up as Nick arrives, though he'd been aware of his approach well before he appeared in the doorway. ]

Hey.