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[extent]

user name: nick
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[extent]

like i know that, i do

i do know that

all this shit is just getting in my head

[guylining]

okay

well i mean

why are you with someone who's not treating you right, then?

that's not judgement
genuine question.

[extent]

i'm not 'with' him we just hook up sometimes

i just
i dont know i didnt think we were friends but i thought we were on...friendlier terms than this

[guylining]

are you sure i can't curse him

i mean i can't make anything specific but i've got the standard alopecia and bedbug curses stashed in my drawer, you can't tell me it wouldn't be funny to test those out

[extent]

i'm not going to tell you not to curse him

but you dont have to do it for me. i just got my feelings hurt, i'll get over it.

[guylining]

do you want to come over

[extent]

i'm not very good company right now

[guylining]

i didn't ask to be entertained

come on. we can watch an upsettingly porny christmas movie and get drunk on egg nog

[extent]

if i cry i'm going to need you to respectfully pretend it isn't happening

[guylining]

i literally ugly cried right on you like a week ago, i think i owe you one

[extent]

that was different

[guylining]

how

[extent]

this is a stupid thing to be upset about

[guylining]

well firstly no it's not

but secondly, i wouldn't care if you were crying because you stubbed your toenail in a door, it still wouldn't be stupid.

come here and let me take care of you please

[extent]

i would cry if i stubbed my toenail in a door, that shit hurts

are you home now?

[guylining]

yeah i'm home

open arms waiting for you

[extent]

cheesy

ok i wont be long. pour me something strong

[guylining]

you have so little faith in my egg nog

i'll put extra shots in it, i promise

[extent]

well if there's extra shots.
see you soon x

( soon actually isn't all that accurate. he takes a little longer than necessary, tries to walk off the miserable downturns in his mouth, but it's about as effective as expected.

by the time he's knocking on nate's door, he's no better for it, but he still cracks a smile when he sees nate. it's impossible not to, even if he is feeling unpleasantly wounded and exposed. and he keeps the smile firmly in place, because that's what nick does. )

I love Christmas movies, you know. I don't even care that it's going to be packed full of porn, I'll still love it.

[guylining]

[ There's a smile at his door, and Nate cannot help but kiss it.

Then he's taking Nick's hands to usher him inside, and bring him through to the living room where a big bowl of creamy egg nog is waiting, and the sofa is piled high with pillows so comfy, it's very clear they were put here by someone far more interested in interior design than Nate. ]

Remember you said that when you see Santa's grotto of elf subs. Fucking disturbing.

How d'you feel?

[extent]

You don't think it's hot? I wanna be on Santa's naughty list

( which is probably an answer to the question in and of itself, in the way he winds his hands around nate's and raising his eyebrows like it's some kind of game. like it wasn't one of the shittiest nights in a little while that had him here in the first place.

he's trying to be better, more upfront with his feelings, but the lazy grin and wink comes so much easier to him. it's hard to choose a different route, even when the sting of it is your main boon still feels fresh and raw. )

I feel like one of those drinks, is what I feel.

[guylining]

[ Nate makes a face. ]

But he's all old and hairy-

[ And then he thinks of Logan, and his eyes slide meaningfully to Nick. ]

- which...there is nothing wrong with. Let me pour you some.

[ He goes to get some generous glasses of that nog. ]

[extent]

Ha ha. Make a daddy joke while you're at it.

( it shouldn't really be comforting, but after what feels like months of nothing but fraught conversations about the short, burly elephant in the room, a light joke practically feels like a revelation.

he flips down right into the cushions, wriggling until he finds a position that's comfortable and mostly horizontal. there's plenty of space by his head by design, a space for nate that he's immediately going to co-opt. Nick has an awful lot of faith in his ability to drink from a glass while mostly lying down, it seems. )

You know, everyone always says you shouldn't like...give a fuck what anyone else thinks, but I do. A lot. It's exhausting.

( so maybe he's going to touch on the day's events, just a little. )

[guylining]

[ Nate puts a glass into one of Nick's hands, and then sits down not by his head, but underneath it, gently lifting Nick up so he can settle him against his thigh. His hand strays to Nick's face, fingertips lightly stroking his cheek. ]

The people who say they don't care are the ones who care the most, trust me.

[ He speaks with some experience. ]

It's okay to care. Not that I think that guy's worth a second of your time, but. You like him, yeah?

[extent]

I thought we were on--good terms, at least. Better than throwing that kind of shit in my face.

( nick settles in with his head on nate's lap, twisting with the drink held carefully until he can press his face against nate's stomach and let out the exhale that he feels like he's been holding onto for hours. he's still trying to figure out how to let the "i'm fine" smile slip away completely, be a bit more honest with himself, but he's closer. )

It's just--I want to see the good in people, you know? But he's someone I've known for months, and he wants to say shit like that to, what, make a point? He knew that picture was me, but he put it up anyway. What do I do with that?