extent | duplicitynet

If it's different, is that better or worse? Nate really isn't sure. A trap is a trap, regardless of the trimmings. He tightens his hold on Nick again. He can feel his heart beating, and it helps to ground him again. Like an anchor.

He missed him, even though he didn't know him to miss.

"Ineroth was around long before me. He had so many trapped there. I freed some of them, but most were too far gone. Except for one, who stayed with me, and then at the very end Ineroth found us both. He consumed him. I saw him take him. I wanted to save him, but he pushed me away, and then--

Then I woke up here."

He swallows, and then looks at Nick. The distress is palpable through their bond, though outwardly, Nate controls it well. He doesn't look like how he's feeling. His breath is a little ragged.

"I spent so long trying to get out. I've got to get back, though. But I already tried and I can't...still can't teleport out of this bloody place."

"I know. I know, I'm sorry."

If he could, Nick thinks he might well just rip a portal out of this place for Nate right now. Even if that meant saying goodbye forever, because he can feel just how hurt he is, and there's very little that Nick hates more than that feeling.

He can't, though. All Nick can to is hold the hand on his chest, hold the cheek in his palm, do his best to be something calm and solid in the face of all of Nate's distress and confusion.

"We'll keep working on it. I'll keep working, Nate--we'll figure something out." It's too big of a promise to make, but Nick makes it anyway. He sounds sure, if only because he is certain that he'll never drop it at least. Whether there's a way out of here to be found or not, he won't stop trying to find it. "I'm...glad you're here, though. I'm sorry. But I am."

"No. No, don't be sorry, don't--Nick."

Nate turns to look at him, focuses on him in a way that makes his eyes blaze. If he'd learned anything in Ineroth's realm, it was that he would not give up, ever, no matter what happened to him or how hopeless everything seemed. He would keep fighting, because even when the odds were stacked impossibly against him, he could still make changes that mattered. He felt that way with every soul he managed to free.

He feels it now, even though he's in another trap. Because he got back something precious.

"I can't lose you again. If I leave this realm and I forget you then what's that worth? I need to fix that. I have to keep hold of this."

He pulls Nick's hand down to that carved heart, where they're connected.

"I'll break this whole universe to keep hold of you. It's not going to keep us apart."

It's one hell of a thing, being on the receiving end of that kind of intensity. Nick knows very well that he is loved, he doesn't doubt it for a second, but it's one thing to know something and another thing to feel it, bright and fierce enough that it almost takes his breath away. Nick knows, but it's a nasty place, the inside of his head; it's been a long couple of weeks.

At any rate, all that focus, all that intense love, it's just about enough to bring him to tears again.

"Yeah?"

He doesn't even mean to ask it, really. The word comes out in between one breath and the next, in a whisper, and he digs his hand into the spot where the scar sits, breaths out slow and shaky.

"Fuck, Nate--" He can't bear it any longer. Nick steps in, hooks his other hand back around Nate's head, but this time it's to pull him into a kiss, hard enough that it leaves him breathless, hard enough that when he does try to speak again, it's barely audible, muffled into his mouth. "I missed you so much."

Nate gathers him in, pulling them against each other without hesitation. He kisses Nick like he hasn't kissed him for years, because he hasn't. He doesn't remember that thing had been awkward between them before he slept. He doesn't remember the specifics of his last conversations with anyone. He just remembers the people, and the feelings, and in the end, that's what matters. That's what he can't lose.

He pulls Nick in tight. He's physically different. At home he'd never gained the muscle mass he worked to here, and so he's lost a lot of it, like it dripped away through lack of use. He feels thinner, and there's a lot of new tattoos. Most feel magical. Some are active spells, but others make little sense, like he'd scribbled on his own skin. His hair is a bit longer.

The way he holds Nick is the same, the way he tugs his hands through his hair is the same, the way he pushes up against him and breathes "please" into his mouth, is the same.

It's urgent, desperate.

But he can also feel Nick's need. He can feel that tangle of emotions. Two weeks, but Nick seems as desperate as Nate.

"What is it?" He murmurs, still against Nick's lips. "What's happened with you? Tell me."

It feels a little like it's been years, as irrational as Nick knows that is. A couple of weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of things, it shouldn't sit so heavy on his heart. But that same time, in the face of how they left things, have been agony.

"I just--kept thinking, what if I never got the chance to make things better with us. Nate, I never want things to not be right with you."

None of that feels as important as pressing up against Nate, pulling him in close at the same time, trying his very best to rid any space left between them. He's finally finding his footing again, the world just feels right again.

To make things right...

Because the last time they talked, it wasn't. It was full of sadness, of despair, of guilt, of anger. It's a memory, to Nate. Everything Nick means to him means so much more. But it's still important.

So he takes hold of Nick now, takes his face between his hands.

"So then we'll make it right. When I woke up, I felt you. You're still the only real thing I can feel here. The things that hurt me then aren't hurting me now. Sometimes things will. You don't have to save me from them, Nick, I just want to run to you when they hurt. And I never want to hurt you again."

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