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user name: nick
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[meca]

I was pretty sure she was going to eat me, you know. We didn't have a bond like you and her did. ( her teeth were terrifying, you know. pointy, definitely up for chomping down on some oliver bones if she felt the urge. but that's not really the point.

life was so much more simple when it was just them--and even before, when it was all of them together fucking around after classes, since nick wasn't attending them anymore. when pierce was still around, before ken went back home to her weird cult bullshit. before oliver asked nick if he could stay on his couch for a bit, which turned into two years because oliver didn't have anymore else to go. nick didn't have his shit figured out, but oliver's shit depended on someone else getting his shit figured out. so. )

I thought you were doing fine, y'know. Spending time with you was fun. It never felt weighted.

[extent]

I was fine, I didn't like, want more, you know?

[ nick has been coasting for a long time now, years left unchecked in a town that doesn't really have a place for him. and it had been fine, for the most part, except for the odd quiet lonely night where nick would wonder if there was ever going to be anything more.

there's the other side of why nick doesn't like talking about home. yes, he misses some people fiercely, and yes, he misses a life where he wasn't so scared all the time, but there's this too. there's the fact that nick doesn't want to just coast anymore, and how easily that could be ripped out from under him.

he's quieter, much quieter, when he presses a soft little admission to the side of oli's face. ]

I don't....want to go back to that. I don't want to forget everything and just go back to doing nothing again, I want more. I want to be more, and if I go back I'm just going to like, forget that I can. It sucks.

[meca]

( they'd both been--settlers. settling into whatever worked best, settling into what they were given. oliver settling in to wait for pierce to eventually come back for him and take him out of their shitty small town with jack shit to do, nick settling in to stay close to the school he'd never finished for fuck if oliver knows how long. oliver's goal had always been to stick with someone who he could leech off of; it still is, because he knows that's what he's best at.

but nick's learned a shitton over his time here. he's learned to better himself, he's learned that he doesn't have to settle for a little apartment surrounded by his plants and nothing else. he's learned he's capable of picking up stronger magics, he's mastered shit that oliver's fairly sure he couldn't pick up even if he spent a significant amount of time trying. nick has so much potential that he'd just let sit all those years before, and he knows he doesn't need to, now. )

You'll know, Nick. ( whispered softly against him, as oliver tightens his leg around nick's waist to pull him in closer. ) You've always felt like more to me, you know. I'm sure even if we do end up going back home and forgetting all of this, that you'll grow stronger, you'll figure out so much. I bet you'll get even stronger than Pierce one day.