duplicitynet | inbox

[extent]

user name: nick
text | video | voice | action | etc

Comments

[angrycowboy]

[ Michael heard the crack in his voice, and it broke his heart. He never wanted to make things worse for Nick. He never wanted to punish him or make him feel unwanted. He squeezes his hand back now, and turns to look at him. ]

I love you. [ Maybe he should've said that from the start. We tell the truth to the people we love. ] It's always included you. I was trying to do something that helped and I guess it did the opposite. It never meant I don't want to be around you.

[extent]

I love you.

[ it sounds like it hurts, the way nick says it, and on some level that's really frustrating, because nick decided very early on that he wasn't going to make michael feel bad about anything. he just feels--manipulative, even if all he's doing is expressing some emotion — and trying very hard not to, at that.

but michael has his hand and nick blinks rapidly up at the ceiling a few times, willing it all to settle down for a moment so that he can actually look over at michael without looking like a wet, watery mess. he's not very successful. ]

I just wanna do what's right for you, that's all, so like- I don't know. I thought that was you...telling me what you wanted.

[angrycowboy]

[ Michael shakes his head. That wasn't what he wanted. He squeezes Nick's hand, and pulls it over to rest between both of his. ]

No. I was just trying to make this a place you didn't wanna run away from when things got hard.

[ He takes a breath, and then deliberately shifts closer to Nick, so that their legs are touching. ]

Listen. I was mad at you about how you kept William a secret. You shouldn't have done that, it means I can't keep you safe. But that doesn't...mean that I don't want to be around you or that I don't care about you anymore. None of that's true.

I'm sorry I made you think it.