extent | duplicitynet

[ ragnor sits down next to him. he's not hungry and he had tea already. ]

We could sleep.

I don't think I can.

[ but he leans in, just enough that his shoulder rests against ragnor's, like it's some sort of compromise. ]

[ ragnor wraps an arm around him and turns his head, murmuring against his temple. ]

I can help you sleep.

You gonna roofie me?

[ that's supposed to be a joke too, but, well. poor timing, to say the least. but despite all the very intense feelings around not deserving any of the affection, it's too hard to make himself pull away. so nick doesn't, he just closes his eyes and pulls in a few very careful, controlled breaths. ]

Okay, yeah. Whatever works.

Only with your permission.

[ which he has now, and nick does desperately need sleep, so ragnor whispers a spell— he doesn't usually cast out loud, but doing so makes for stronger magic. nick can feel the spell as magic threads the magic with his free hand, it feels almost like a lullaby. ]

[ it's nice, soothing in a way he's desperately craving right now, and nick knows pretty quickly that ragnor's spell is going to work.

he just leans in closer, tips his head into ragnor's shoulder, and as he's drifting off, he murmurs out one last comment under his breath. safe, because he won't need to answer any follow up questions for the time being. ]

I'm sorry, I am.

Ssh, it's all right.

[ they can talk in the morning, over breakfast.

tonight ragnor just puts nick to bed, lying down next to him and pulling him close. ]

[ nick doesn't generally sleep well, so it's unusual when he wakes up and it's morning. no stirrings in the middle of the night, no restless pacing when he gets frustrated. nick just--sleeps, through the night, and he wakes up wound up tight in ragnor's space. he actually smiles, a little sleepily, before he remembers the events of the night before.

sneaking out would be an asshole move but nick thinks about it anyway, sitting up slowly and swinging his legs off of the bed. he doesn't get up though, just waits for ragnor to give some indication that he's awake too. ]

[ ragnor sleeps because he knows there's difficult days ahead, but he knows nick so he ties his rest to his. when nick wakes up, ragnor does too. ]

Morning.

Do you want breakfast?

[ he's not quite at the stage of pretending that nothing happened, but he's close as he works a faint smile onto his face, gesturing vaguely in the direction of the kitchen. ]

It's still early. Lie back down, let's talk.

[ he doesn't want to let nick slip the mask back on, then it'd be impossible to get it off and he'd really rather this not end with nick screaming at him. ]

[ of course he doesn't want to. he can't talk about a lot of it, there were very specific instructions with very specific threats tied to them. but he hesitates for a moment, and then another couple of moments too, before eventually lying back down anyway.

he doesn't know where to start, so he just settles back into ragnor's side, presses his cheek to his chest, and shrugs. ]

Ask me something.

[ ragnor pulls him close. oliver yelled the whole thing at ragnor, and ragnor listened, so he knows how oliver sees the situation, he understands, but he also knows there's more to it. ]

What did he threaten you with?

[ it's an easy enough answer, only made complicated by the fact that nick made very clear promises about not talking, and nick is half-convinced that william could have bugged him somehow too at this point.

despite that he keeps going, a hushed murmur under his breath that's every bit as tired and defeated as he is, but it's still an answer. ]

Oli. Anyone who knew anything. Might as well have been everyone I care about.

He scared you.

[ this william could be more powerful than him. but powerful people don't go around throwing their dicks around, they don't usually need to say it.

sammael hadn't needed to threaten him, once he'd found him ragnor had known what his options were. ]

He wanted you quiet because it gave him an advantage. Because he knew he'd be fucked if it came out. It's not your fault.

Of course he does. I know what he's doing.

[ he just doesn't seem to care. ]

How long has this been going on?

[ that's a question ragnor's not sure he wants the answer to. how long has nick been successfully hiding this? ]

[ that's more complicated. how long--since he first got tangled up with william? since nick knew what he was and slept with him anyway? since it got violent? he drags out his answer, teeth digging into the inside of his cheek as he tries to figure it out. what's best--what's safe to say, too. ]

I found out what he was really like when those lists went up.

[ not that long then. but that raises a different set of questions. ]

How long had he been lying to you?

I thought it was city shit.

[ he'd been ready with the reason, william didn't even have to come up with it. ]

November, I guess. It was only a couple of times, before I found out.

Edited (wordz) 2022-04-02 08:50 (UTC)

I'm sorry.

[ ragnor's furious, but it's not at nick. it's at the situation, and this william, and the fact that 'it's city shit' is a ready excuse for any wanker. ]

You don't need to be sorry.

[ nick shrugs carefully, decidedly not looking at ragnor and instead just...listening in at his chest. ]

I'm fine.

I'm not blaming myself, I'm saying I'm sorry it happened.

[ he just pulls nick closer. ]

Don't lie to me. We've had enough of that.

I think I'm fine.

[ he modifies the sentence carefully, like it makes a difference, and settles his hand on ragnor's stomach, which actually does. ]

I don't regret it. I don't feel bad. Mostly I just feel- [ slimy. ashamed. riddled with guilt over the ever complex web of lies he's been building in all this time. ] ...tired.

[ ragnor threads his fingers in nick's hair. ]

Who knows? I know Oliver and Pierce do. Does Nate?

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