extent | duplicitynet

they might have been trying to protect themselves as well
truth is it's probably a combination of all of it
sometimes people don't realize how something looks until its pointed out to them

and it's ok to be mad about it even if their intention wasn't to hurt u, cause that's still what happened

yeah i guess

fuck, i got so used to thinking we were a family together. i had it in my head like, i finally have a family i can rely on, and this just isn't that

nobody's ever as good as you think, are they

i know it probably feels like it's ruined right now, but i dont want u to like give up on the whole thing because of this
at least not before u properly talk to them about stuff

but like if u talk and they actually arent shit, fuck that + fuck them

you deserve a family that cares about you as much as you care about them

family screws me up, nick
it always has
i don't think i'm fucking equipped to even know how it's supposed to be bc all i have to go on is "not hawthorney"

i don't want a brother who hates me or parents who don't fucking notice me unless it's to tell me off

maybe i'm just expecting too much of them

i get it, you thought you had something different + now u feel let down. you thought they felt the same way and now it feels like they don't.

your standards aren't high nate. like, seriously. you deserve a family and you deserve them to be fucking perfect bc it's some cruel joke that u havent gotten that before.

would it cheer u up if i offer to beat them up?

maybe

but i'll take a cuddle instead if you have one going

good bc i would do it for u but i'm like not confident in my fighting abilities tbh

always. anytime. especially right now 💖

where are you, home? i wouldn't be teleporting onto a naked kyle would i

will u be disappointed if i tell u that kyle not naked + not currently in my room?

semi-disappointed he's not naked tbh

[ But not really, since it means he can just teleport straight to Nick. Once the flare of light fades back, he reaches to wrap himself around him. ]

Thanks, Nick.

( nick only really uses his room to study these days — "study" being a loose term, clearly, because he has some magic book on his lap that he's ignoring in favour of tip tapping away on his device. both get discarded when nate shows up, anyway. he quickly gets up to meet nate in the hug, squeezing him tight and hooking a chin over his shoulder. )

Like, any time. You know that, right?

[ Nate settles into a tight hug, face gently pressed against Nick's neck. ]

I know. That's why I'm here.

[ He needed a good friend, and Nick might be his best one. ]

You're like, the best. If people aren't treating you like you're the best, fuck 'em.

( nick has, apparently, reached his limit for well-reasoned and rational advice for the day. he sighs, tilting his head just enough that he can press a kiss on nate's shoulder. )

[ Nate closes his eyes and just stays like that for a couple of seconds. Nick gives good hugs, and has a knack for telling him what he needs to hear when he's upset. Or pissed, or whatever he is right now. Even if it's not a balanced neutral view at all, it's what makes him feel better.

His face turns a bit so that he can push a kiss into Nick's neck. Then another one on his jaw, and then he just settles tighter against him. ]

Nah. You're the best. Thanks for being here, I really needed this.

Nah, I've just figured you out a little.

( it's not a particularly impartial view that nick has, but then nick doesn't feel especially impartial about nate. there's a handful of people that have become incredibly important to nick over the last six months, and nate?

well. nate was the first. he was never going to stay unbiased for long. even if it's hypocritical as hell for nick to be judging people for keeping secrets from their loved ones. he doesn't care. )

Come lie down. I don't plan on letting you go for a while now.

[ Nick knows him, that's true. There's a reason why Nick is the person he reached for; he always knew he could rely on him to be on his side. That's important.

He slips out of his arms only to take his hand and go to the bed, where they can wrap up again. ]

You know, you actually give the best hugs. That's a thing.

Obviously, I'm very talented.

( nate only gets a moment of personal space. once he's on the bed nick flops down next to him, and pretty much immediately tugs nate back into his arms. it's easier to settle down like this, an arm wound tight around his shoulders and the other slung over him — he really meant that he was in this for the long haul.

it doesn't feel like enough, in the face of the kinds of big emotions that nate is grappling with, but it's the best he's got right now. )

I don't...lie to you. If that helps, at all.

[ Nate pulls him a bit closer, until he can nudge their foreheads together.

Sometimes a hug is enough. It feels like what's needed. It makes him feel secure where he'd felt anything but that.

His fingers flit through Nick's hair. ]

I know.

You know I'd want to know if you were hurt. I'd want to help you. But if I couldn't help, I'd at least want to do...this. Cause you'd do it for me.

Yeah, I know.

( they're too close for him to tell, probably, but nick can't help but smile all the same. he settles a hand on nate's back, thumb rubbing idly against his shirt.

nick isn't the kind of person that feels settled very often. he's always got something going on, some drama that's spun out of control or some situation that's got him in his head. even the menial stuff, the day to day stuff just rattles through his head, because he never quite learned how to sit still. it's easy with people like nate though, there's a calm that settles with the fingers carding through his hair that he doesn't get with very many people. a very short list, actually, if he cared to think about it that closely. )

I've got you, you've got me. There's not a lot of things I'm certain of here, but I'm sure about that.

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