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[extent]

user name: nick
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[snikthatch]

if I give you the real answer can you promise you're not going to freak out or anything

[extent]

i'm not going to freak out

[snikthatch]

I can probably count the times in my life I've been okay on one hand

right now I'm alive and I can remember what the fuck I'm supposed to be doing here and the people I care about aren't in immediate danger
that's usually the closest I get

[extent]

okay.

just for the record the existence of baggage doesnt freak me out

i'm glad you got your memories back. mostly.

[snikthatch]

mostly?

[extent]

i feel like its a pretty dick move to wish you remember certain shit just because it was weird that you didn't know who i was.

[snikthatch]

I've got far worse crap kicking around in my head than what we went through, kid
not saying that to make a point besides you wanting me to remember it isn't as bad as you think it is

for the record if I had the choice I'd rather remember you

[extent]

yeah, well.

( that, annoyingly, takes the steam out of most of his self-flagellation pretty quickly. )

i still kind of wish you had one less thing to beat yourself up about, but
i did choose to remember you so
same i guess

[snikthatch]

how much does your boyfriend know about what Quire did for you?

[extent]

i mean i didnt go into gory details

[snikthatch]

you don't think he needs to know the gory details?

[extent]

no.

[snikthatch]

you want me to say what you know I'm gonna say?

[extent]

i'm not dragging up old shit. he knows enough, its not like he's completely in the dark.

[snikthatch]

you can't be more honest with me than you are with him
it's not fair for either of you

[extent]

there's stuff i tell him that i wouldn't tell you, you know.

[snikthatch]

stuff that's like this?

[extent]

stuff like this is one of the few things i havent scraped out in excruciating detail
i'm not lying to him or anything
i asked him not to watch it and he didn't.

[snikthatch]

he knows we're not just fucking around with each other?

[extent]

what do you mean

[snikthatch]

what I just said

[extent]

i dont rank all the people im screwing for him in terms of how important they are to me but it's not like a secret

( well )

he doesn't know the full context of who you are.

[snikthatch]

maybe he should

[extent]

why is this suddenly important to you

[snikthatch]

because you've been calling him your boyfriend without hesitating, kid

that stuff is important