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user name: nick
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[extent]

It's everything.

( surprisingly enough, when nick hits a wall he doesn't take the dramatic route. mostly he just looks tired, scrubbing a hand over his face quickly and trying not to seem quite so miserable. an abject failure, obviously. )

I can't do this, I can't be— whatever the fuck it is I'm supposed to be in that house. It's been three months, some shit's going to go wrong if I stay, I'm getting out before it does.

( never mind that nick's dramatic departure probably is the thing that went wrong. )

[angrycowboy]

[ Michael steps closer, shaking his head. ]

Something did go wrong. You left.

[ He chews his lip for a second. It's hard for him to think of an argument that might resolve any of this. He doesn't think anything would've solved it for him, any time he'd been in Nick's shoes. ]

You weren't supposed to be anything, Nick. Kyle didn't expect anything of you. All he wanted was for things to stay exactly like they were.

Look, you want to leave cause you're unhappy, that's your business. But I don't think you were. I think you are now. Tell me I'm wrong.

[extent]

( the most frustrating part is that he wants it to work. nick isn't that good at being miserable, he's not self-sacrificing enough. he wants to go home and he wants to patch things up with kyle, let michael scrub at his hair as they walk out of here together. it's nice, it's really nice. but nice isn't enough.

nick swallows, and smiles in a way that feels painful. it was a lot easier with kyle, who bends over backwards to make sure that nick's decisions are respected. even the really, really stupid ones. nick doesn't think he'll particularly like the person he'll have to be to make michael walk away from him — but then, that's the problem. nick doesn't like himself very much at all, these days. )

Fine, I was unhappy. Is that what you want to hear? I couldn't wait to get out of that place. Didn't you notice I had my bags packed for days?