extent | duplicitynet

None of it was your fault, Nick.

[ he sits next to him and tentatively places a hand on his back. then with his other hand he conjures up a nice tea table and two mugs. ]

Here. The tea is from my stash, so it's safe to drink.

Yeah, you’ll forgive me if that doesn’t exactly fill me with relief.

( despite the snarky comment he still takes the mug, sitting up straighter so that he can hold it with both hands. whether or not it’s actually going to make him feel better is anyone’s guess, but it’s at least something to focus on for a moment. )

It’s just— fucked. This whole place is fucked, and I feel so stupid, and now I don’t even know who to be angry at anymore?

[ ragnor drinks first. he doesn't know if it'll make nick feel safer but ragnor is a paranoid man, and it would make him feel safer; the tea is regular lavender tea, a bit on the sweeter side. ]

You can be angry at all of it, there are no wrong reactions. It's just not your fault in any way.

[ he doesn't think he can drive the message in, so he has to settle for repeating it and hope it sticks. ]

I don’t want to be angry at any of it, I want to forget it ever happened.

( if it’s possible to angrily sip from a mug of tea, nick somehow manages it. he doesn’t even know why he’s still talking at all, much less why he’s opening up to some stranger that’s a friend of magnus, no less, but now that he’s cracked that wall open just a little, it’s like the whole dam is breaking. )

I don’t even know anyone here. It’s been like, three weeks. I don’t know what to do.

[ since nick hasn't pushed him off, ragnor lets his hand drop on his back a little more firmly. ]

You need to give yourself time to process things. I will stay with you if you want company... and I would advice against it, but if you want to forget, we can discuss it. It is complex magic, but I have experience with it.

[ it's not what he'd advise, trauma can remain buried even after the event that caused it is forgotten. but they can go over the risks later and nick can make an informed decision. ]

I’m pretty sure it’s a better idea than whatever the hell is happening right now.

( it’s something nick has (unsurprisingly) put a lot of thought into over the last few days, though he’s pretty sure he wouldn’t actually follow through with it. it’s just a nice pipe dream, just wiping the whole horrible incident away and moving on with his life, consequence-free.

he does briefly entertain the thought of just shrugging the hand off, but if he’s honest the simple gesture is more effective than anything he’s attempted at soothing some of that agitated energy. probably because his idea of processing pretty much just involved several healing potions and an all you can smoke magical weed buffet, but still. he laughs, a little wet sounding, and quickly scrubs a hand over his face. )

Why are you being so nice to me?

I am both capable and willing to help. Why wouldn't I?

[ he would be trying to help even if magnus wasn't involved, because nick is young and alone, and processing alone in this city would be enough to give anyone life-long trauma. ]

It will pass. [ he says this with the confidence only someone who's been alive for centuries can have. ] Give yourself time, the memory might always sting, if you choose to keep it, but it will be grow smaller, less important as you make new memories.

I don’t know who you’ve been spending time with, but most people don’t just help a stranger out because they can.

( he keeps his hand over his face for a moment, because everything happening right now is pushing nick dangerously close to tears and that’s a whole level of mortifying that he’s not willing to cross right now. he heaves out a heavy sigh - it’s all helpful advice, he knows that, but ‘time heals all wounds’ doesn’t change anything now. nick’s always been a bit impatient, why should this be any different? )

Yeah, I mean you’re probably right. It’s just- ( he shrugs, swallowing around a very much unasked for lump in his throat and trying his best to crack a weak smile. ) it...really fucking sucks, you know?

[ he can't very well tell nick that most of what he knows about being a good person he learned from magnus, so he's quiet until nick asks a direct question. ]

I know. [ he really does, though he's not sure about elaborating on it, not when they just met and nick is dealing with so much. ] ... I know you would rather not, but there is no shame in crying. You will feel better after.

[ ragnor was a teacher for a long time, and he still sounds like one, more often than not, confident and instructive. ]

Are you kidding? There’s no way I’m going to cry in the middle of the park like some kind of crazy person.

( .....there’s still a very good chance that nick is going to cry. his voice cracks and wobbles around the words and he keeps having to blink rapidly when his eyes feel a little too wet, but that doesn’t make the thought any less embarrassing. )

I don’t need to cry, I haven’t cried yet and I’m perfectly fine.

( yes because this is absolutely the picture of someone who is perfectly fine )

[ ragnor still has a hand resting on nick's back, he waves his free one and a transparent veil falls over them, a glamour to hide them from view. ]

There, you are hidden from view now.

[ if nick were his student he'd already be pushing harder. pride should come second to well-being. ]

( it’s actually a pretty smart move — not that nick could have done it himself, but there’s certainly a comfort that comes with not being exposed to the world. anyone could have overheard them before now, after all. he’s really been so careless.

but he shrugs and leans back into the hand on his back. he’s hardly touch-starved, but normally any contact he has is pretty specifically loaded. touching just for the sake of touching, a friendly gesture and nothing more, that’s incredibly unusual and he’s only really now starting to realise that. )

I really think I’m fine, you know. This whole...talking thing was enough. I’m not going to have a breakdown.

[ ragnor leans back too and moves his arm around to nick's shoulder so it's more of a half hug. it's still loose enough for him to get out of it easily, but ragnor's hoping he won't. ]

You don't have to be fine, not at the moment. [ he's looking at nick, brows furrowed, concerned. ] Right now you are safe. I can promise you that much.

[ he means it. he's not one to make empty promises and right now he'd set the entire block on fire before letting nick get hurt. ]

You can't, though.

( it's not even particularly accusatory, just a sad statement to match the sad little shrug that follows it. nick doesn't doubt that ragnor is powerful. he doesn't even have to look to know that, he can feel it, but–

so is magnus, and look at all the good it did him. )

I'm not safe here, no one's safe when they can just do...whatever the fuck they want with us.

( but he'll allow a hug, leaning slightly into ragnor's side and trying to fight the frown off of his face. it's a losing battle though, and when he adds something else, it's a lot quieter. a comment to himself, more than ragnor. )

I don't feel safe here anymore. Anywhere.

I can promise you safety right now.

[ but he understands why nick can't believe it. he rubs nick's shoulder, trying to be soothing. ]

You've trusted me this far, trust me on that too. No harm will come to you while I am here.

I’m just...tired.

( he doesn’t really believe it yet, but some of the tension in his muscles unknots as he slumps back into the bench and that at least is something. )

Can you- do you mind- ( he sniffs, keeps his eyes on his hands. god, this is embarrassing. ) Could you take me home? I don’t...want to walk around this place alone like this.

( emotional, upset, exhausted. it just seems like asking for trouble. )

Of course. Government housing?

[ he could portal them there, he's sure nick knows this, but he also knows magnus must have used portals before and anxiety triggers are hard to predict, so he decides not to offer.

he stands and offers nick a hand, intending to wrap an arm around him again as soon as nick's on his feet. ]

I can keep us hidden until we're there.

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