I thought about burning all these because it's so embarrassing that the words are just there on paper taunting me, but that just feels worse. I need to stop, I'm making an idiot of myself. You don't want to know and that's fine, but part of me wishes I'd just said it once, even if you didn't want to hear it. Isn't that selfish?
I think that's part of the problem. I wish I hadn't even let the conversation get brought up, because I was still holding onto some hope that maybe it wasn't just me, and that's selfish too. You were never obliged to feel the same way just because I did, I know that, but at least when I didn't know I could pretend.
It wasn't fair to you. I wasn't fair to you, really. At least it's done now. You made yourself very clear and I'll figure out a way to get over it, and move on. I won't keep staring at you all the time, and I'm not going to hold your hand unless you want me too, and you don't have to sleep with me anymore, but if you do, I promise I won't think that it means more than it does.
Please don't let things change because of me. I think that's the only thing that I couldn't bear, really.
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